Lunch Date
by izzygeorge
Summary: Meredith and Lexie meet for a weekly lunch to discuss the happenings at SGH.
1. Chapter 1

Just a quick explanation…

My plan for the rest of this season of Grey's is to have Meredith and Lexie meet for lunch weekly and discuss their lives. Basically, what will happen is that they will debrief on the events of each other's lives, such as their relationships, Izzie's illness, careers, etc. It will be driven by what happens each week on the show. I hope you like it!

*******

"Hi," Lexie says awkwardly, sitting down.

"Hi," Meredith replies, equally uncomfortably.

The two of them fidget with their trays awkwardly.

"So, ummm…congratulations…on you and Derek…you must be really excited…" Lexie stammers.

"Yes. I'm really excited," Meredith repeats, although she doesn't sound excited.

"Are you planning a big wedding?" Lexie asks.

Meredith laughs, sounding a little strained. "I don't know. We haven't really gotten that far."

"I think I want a big wedding. I mean, since I was a little girl I always dreamed of wearing that big white dress and walking down the aisle. It's such a princess moment. I can't wait!" Lexie says, dreamily.

Meredith sighs. "I never really had that fantasy. But I'm not surprised that you did," Meredith says, dryly.

Something about that comment feels insulting to Lexie and makes her feel tremendously insecure. She is silent for a moment, fearing that anything she says may come out wrong.

Meredith breaks the silence by saying, "So how are things going with you and Mark?"

Lexie smiles. "Good. Really good."

"That's good. I noticed you haven't been home in a while. Are you planning to…" Meredith stops as Lexie jumps on her words.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I'll get my stuff out this weekend if you want. You were really generous taking me in after George and I…well…I'm sorry. I should have gotten my stuff out," Lexie apologizes.

Meredith stops her. "No. That's not what I meant! I meant to say that I noticed you haven't been home in a while. The house seems so quiet. I mean, first Derek went to the trailer for a while, then, you started staying at Mark's, then Izzie…and well…I don't know. It's just been quiet."

"How is Izzie?" Lexie asks.

Meredith shrugs. "I don't know."

Lexie smiles sympathetically. "That oncologist seemed really tough. It's probably tough to try to get information out of her. How are her spirits?"

Meredith shrugs again. "I wouldn't know that either."

Lexie nods, understandly. "I guess she probably puts up a brave front. She seems like that type. Do you just kind of talk about nothing when you visit her? That probably helps take her mind off of everything…"

Meredith shakes her head. "I don't know because I didn't go see her before her surgery," she admits.

Lexie wrinkles her forehead, looking confused. "Really? I'm surprised. I thought you guys were good friends. I mean, you've lived together since your internship and always seemed like you were…well…I mean I know you're closer with Cristina, but I always just thought that…well…" Lexie's voice trails off as she is unsure of what to say.

Meredith shakes her head again. "No. You're right. We are friends. Good friends. I mean, Izzie's a wonderful friend. She's the one who always wants things to work out well for everybody. Do you know what I heard?" Meredith asks.

Lexie leans forward. "What?"

"I heard that when I almost drowned and they didn't know if I would live or die, all of them…Cristina, Alex, George, and Izzie stood outside my room. The doctors were losing hope. Everybody was freaking out. Only Izzie believed I was really going to make it. She told everyone she believed in the good. And she believed I would make it. And I did. I know it's not very 'doctorly' of me, but I like to think that Izzie's positive attitude had something to do with that," Meredith explains.

"So why haven't you been to see her?" Lexie asks.

Meredith looks down. "I'm not Izzie. I'm not all bright and shiny. I'm the person who sees the good in serial killers. I'm not what Izzie needs right now," she says, quietly.

Lexie looks at Meredith sympathetically. "It must be hard to see your friend so sick."

Meredith looks up sharply. "Lexie. I'm a doctor. I've seen sick. I'm used to sick. I'm a surgeon. I can't handle sick." she says, quickly.

"But when it's someone you care about…that's really hard to watch," Lexie says.

Meredith tries to lighten the conversation. "Are you just trying to get me to hang out on the oncology floor so there is one less resident around to watch you interns screw things up?" she says with a smile.

Lexie doesn't answer the question. "Did I ever tell you about Edie Sheridan?"

"Edie Sheridan?" Meredith repeats. "No. I don't think so."

"Well...you know how in junior high school you're friends with one group of people and then in high school, sometimes all of that changes?" Lexie asks.

Meredith laughs. "I didn't have a lot of time to worry about all the social intricacies of adolescence. I was kind of in survival mode back then. I'm not sure I knew most of the names of the kids in my classes, let alone who was shifting lunch tables."

"Oh…well…I was pretty involved. I mean, I was popular. I was probably one of those kids you hated," Lexie quips.

"I wouldn't have hated you. I probably wouldn't have known your name," Meredith reminds her.

"Well, there was this girl, Edie. She and I were really good friends in junior high. She lived next door to me and our mom's were really good friends. We used to have family picnics on Sundays and after school we'd go to each other's houses and bake cookies," Lexie begins.

Meredith rolls her eyes. "I'm feeling a little nauseous from all your happy little family outings," Meredith says, only half joking.

Lexie continues, ignoring Meredith's comment. "Well, the summer after 8th grade, I started hanging out with this girl Bree who was super popular. I became really good friends with the popular group of kids and kind of stopped hanging out with Edie," Lexie explains.

"Lexie. We've come a long way in our relationship as sisters, but seriously, if this is a story about your rise to prom queen, I'm going to have to mock you endlessly," Meredith says.

Lexie laughs. "I'm prepared for mocking." She continues. "Anyway…as much as I loved hanging out with them, they were a tough crowd. There was a lot of drama and sometimes, you'd show up to hang out and they'd all be mad at you, and you wouldn't know why. Or everyone would be talking about you and rumors would spread and…well…It was stressful being part of their crowd."

Meredith thinks of her own childhood. "Wow. Sounds stressful," she says, sarcastically.

Lexie ignores the sarcasm and continues. "Well, I know I hurt Edie's feelings, but to her credit, she never made me choose. When Bree's friends kind of blew me off, or there was nothing else to do, I'd fall back on Edie and she always took me back."

"Does this story have a point, because afternoon rounds are starting in 20 minutes and I still have to pick up my charts," Meredith asks.

"I'm getting to it," Lexie snaps. "When we started 9th grade, Edie was supposed to be in some of my classes, but she never showed up. I was kind of relieved because I didn't know what I would do if she wanted to sit with Bree and I and all my new friends. I mean I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but…well…you know…"

"Your tragic childhood is really moving," Meredith says, acidly, not hiding her impatience.

"But it was really unlike Edie. One day I came home and my mom said she needed to talk to me. She told me that Edie had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and was in the hospital. She told me we were going to visit her that Saturday night. I told her I couldn't go because Bree was having a party that night, but she told me I had to go. I was really pissed off she wouldn't let me tell Bree why I was not going to the party. I had to make up some stupid excuse that sounded like a lie because my voice shakes a little when I lie and I'm not a very good liar and well…"

"Lexie! Rounds!" Meredith snaps.

"Sorry. I ramble when I'm nervous. I guess I'm nervous. I don't know. Well…when I got there, she looked so small and scared in that bed. And then my mom left us alone and I didn't know what to say. So we were all silent, and then Edie said, 'Is Bree pissed that you're not at her party?' And I just launched into a tirade about how unfair she was when I called and then filled her in on all the gossip from school and it felt like old times. And I decided it wouldn't be so bad to come back and visit. I decided I'd come back after school one day." Lexie says.

Meredith bites her lip and wonders how much longer she has to listen before it would be appropriate to excuse herself and get back to work. Work feels good right now. Meredith wants to work more than anything, but unfortunately for Meredith, Lexie seems determined to continue her story.

"But I never got to. She died two days later of an infection she caught while on chemo," Lexie says.

Meredith searches for the correct response. "I'm very sorry about your childhood friend," is what she settles on.

"Thank you," Lexie says.

"I know that you're hoping that your story is going to make me go upstairs to Izzie's room right now and tell her I'm engaged. But I can't right now. I have rounds," Meredith says, gently.

"You'll always have something. You'll always be busy. Izzie may not always…" Lexie stops, startled as Meredith cuts her off sharply.

"Don't say that!" Meredith snaps.

"Don't say what?" Lexie asks.

"You were going to say that Izzie may not always be there. Derek got the tumor. She's going to be fine." Meredith says, surprising herself with the catch in her voice.

"Meredith," Lexie says, gently, "I'm sure Derek did a great job today, but there are so many surgeries and chemo and radiation and so many steps to take before she can be 'fine.'"

"I have to go. I have rounds." Meredith says, standing up.

"Meredith…" Lexie says, following her as she walks briskly, "I'm sorry. We can talk about something else. Your wedding. We can talk about your wedding."

"I told you. We haven't started planning. There's not much to talk about," Meredith says, slowing down, slightly.

"Have you told everyone?" Lexie asks.

"I told Cristina. That's it," Meredith says.

"Was she so excited for you? What was her reaction?" Lexie asks.

"She cried," Meredith says.

"She cried? That's so sweet! I can't picture Cristina Yang as the type to cry from happiness! Wow! She cried! That's so sweet!" Lexie says, happily.

"No. She cried because she broke up with Owen," Meredith says, matter of factly.

"Why did she break up with Owen?" Lexie asks.

"He choked her," Meredith says.

"Choked her? Wow. And the interns are gossiping about Mark and I? Choking? Wow," Lexie says, incredulously.

"Don't tell the interns," Meredith says.

"I won't. I promise. Why did he choke her? I mean Cristina can be difficult sometimes, I'm sure, but choking is really over the top. I mean there is no excuse for choking," Lexie says, struggling to keep up with Meredith's pace which has quickened once again.

"He had a nightmare," Meredith answers curtly.

"He was in Iraq…right? He must have PTSD," Lexie says.

"PTSD or not, there is no excuse for choking," Meredith says.

"If it were Cristina, would you visit her?" Lexie asks.

"What?"

"If Izzie were Cristina, would you visit her?" Lexie asks.

Meredith thinks for a moment. "If Izzie were Cristina, she's be a tall blonde Asian girl which is seriously weird." Then she sighs. "I don't know, Lexie. I'm going to get back to work now. I'll see you soon…okay?"

Lexie gives up. "Okay. Can we have lunch next week? Our schedules line up on Wed."

"Sure. Next Wed," Meredith says, dismissively.

"Ummm…Mer?" Lexie calls, as Meredith starts to walk away.

"What?" Meredith says, exasperatedly turning around.

"I think I'm going to leave some stuff at the house…if that's okay. I mean, just in case…well…this thing with Mark, it's still new…and well…if it doesn't work out…well…if it's okay I'll just leave a few things…" Lexie says.

Meredith's face softens. "Of course," she says. Lexie smiles as she turns to leave. Meredith calls after her.

"Lexie!" she calls.

Lexie turns around.

Meredith smiles. "We can talk about you and Mark on Wed….you know…at lunch."


	2. Chapter 2

"Can I sit here?" Lexie asks, approaching Meredith and Cristina who are sitting in the cafeteria picking at their lunches.

Meredith looks at Cristina who shrugs. "It's fine. I have to go check on 3 chamber heart guy," Cristina says, getting up.

"Oh! Don't leave on my account. I can go sit with ummm…someone else. Or I can go study. I mean, it's no big deal to eat lunch alone. I don't mind…really. I mean, if you need to talk to Meredith…that's totally okay with me. I can just talk to her another time…" Lexie stammers.

Cristina looks accusingly at Meredith. "Seriously? You told her?" she says, annoyed.

"What? No! I mean…I didn't mean to…I mean…" Meredith fumbles.

"Whatever," Cristina says. She turns to Lexie. "One word to anyone, and you'll be staring at rectums for the rest of your residency. You'll be so good at rectal exams that you'll be a rectal specialist," she says, sternly.

Lexie nods solemnly. "Not a word," she promises.

Cristina leaves, giving Meredith one last look and Lexie sits down.

"Sorry," Lexie says.

"It's fine. I thought we were having lunch on Wednesday. We just had lunch yesterday," Meredith says.

Lexie looks hurt. "I'm sorry. I just saw you here, and I figured I'd sit and have lunch with you and your friend. I didn't realize it was such a chore for you."

Meredith sighs, knowing she just hurt her sister's feelings. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I'm worried about Cristina. I mean, the whole thing with Owen…and…well…I'm worried about her."

Lexie lifts her head to look Meredith in the eye. "You're worried about Cristina? You're worried about Cristina Yang? Seriously? Izzie Stevens is upstairs in a hospital bed fighting for her life, and you're worried that Cristina Yang is sad because she broke up with her boyfriend? Are you kidding?" Lexie says, angrily.

Meredith meets Lexie's stare. "Is this about your friend, Edie Sheridan? Because as touching as that story was, it didn't alter my life the way it altered yours."

Lexie smiles. "You remembered her first and last name."

"So what?" Meredith asks.

"It means you listened," Lexie gloats.

"Yes. I listened. I listened to your whole long story. You ditched your nerdy next door neighbor for some popular girl named after fancy cheese who you didn't really like but you thought was good for your image. Then your nerdy next door neighbor got sick. Mommy made you do the right thing, because she imparted good values on you. You went to the hospital and visited like a good little girl and then your friend died. I'm sorry your friend died, really I am. But as far as tragic childhoods go, I could take you on any day," Meredith says, combatively.

"My childhood wasn't tragic. Edie's death was!" Lexie argues.

"So was Olivia Cunningham's!" Meredith blurts out.

"Who is Olivia Cunningham?" Lexie asks, confused.

"A girl in my third grade class. She had cystic fibrosis. We were partners on a field trip. She shared her lunch with me, because I didn't know we had to bring a bagged lunch and my mother didn't pack lunches. So I had my lunch money, but couldn't buy anything. Olivia shared my lunch and we sat together on the bus. I didn't have many friends because I wasn't allowed to have friends over after school since my mother was never home and Olivia didn't have many friends because she missed so much school, so we were stuck together. She was nice. Besides, I liked her because if the teacher told the kids to pick partners, we could always pair off. If she was absent, I just told the teacher I was going to be Olivia's partner so it wouldn't look like I had no one to work with. It was a friendship out of convenience," Meredith says.

Lexie nods, understandingly.

"Well, Olivia came to school less and less as the year went on. Whenever she was absent and I told the teacher Olivia would be my partner when she came back, she would give me this pitying look. One day, the school psychologist came in and told the class that Olivia had died. She gave us all a chance to ask questions, but no one really knew what to ask," Meredith says.

"Mer…ummm…I really want to hear about Olivia, but if I'm late for rounds, I'm going to be…" Lexie says, gently.

"No! Today is my turn. I listened to your Edie Sheridan story. Now you're going to listen to my Olivia Cunningham story!" Meredith demands. She continues. "When I got home, I told my mother that a girl in my class, Olivia had died of something called cystic fibrosis. She said that most kids who have the disease die before adulthood. I asked her why kids get the disease. I obviously meant, why would a poor innocent child be stricken with a fatal disease. She launched into a long explanation of genetics and dominant and recessive genes complete with diagrams."

Lexie sighs and looks at her watch. Meredith continues her story. "Finally, I asked my mother why Olivia had to die. She explained to me that the pseudomondas that grew in her lungs made the mucus so thick that she probably suffocated to death. I was eight years old."

Lexie's eyes grow wide. "Wow. I'm sorry, Mer. That's a terrible story."

Meredith shrugs her shoulders. "Olivia was nice, but a new girl transferred into our class a few weeks later, so I found a new partner for group work, in case you were worried.," she says, attempting to inject some humor into the moment.

Lexie smiles back. "Good. I would hate to think I was related to the class reject."

"I know you think I'm a monster for not visiting Izzie. But just understand that…well…I don't understand it, but I just can't right now. I just can't," Meredith says.

"But why?" Lexie pleads.

Mereidht sighs exasperated. "I don't know. I'm flawed. I'm dark, I'm twisty, I'm imperfect."

Lexie stares at her sister harshly. "Everyone's flawed and imperfect," she says, refusing to accept the excuse.

"My mother slit her wrists in front of me when I was 9. She told me not to call an ambulance, so I sat there on the floor watching her bleed until she passed out and I could call for help. Trust me…I'm damaged," Meredith says.

Lexie stares at her sister, speechless. "Mer – I…"

Meredith shakes her head. "So when I don't make sense, or I can't do the right thing, there are reasons, Lexie. We're not from the same world. We're not going to see the world the same way. You see the world as safe, and I see it as scary," Meredith says, simply.

Lexie puts her hand on Meredith's hand. "It helps to understand where you're coming from. I never knew…you know…about your mom…or Olivia…or…anything. I only know you here or at the house with your friends and Derek. It's amazing how our childhoods shape us, isn't it?" Lexie asks.

"Yes. It is." Meredith says. She pauses. "You're lucky, Lexie. Very lucky."

Lexie thinks for a moment and smiles. "Yes. I am."

The two of them sit in silence for a moment and sip their coffee.

"Mer?" Lexie asks.

"What?" Meredith replies.

"Mark's having some work done at his place. He is going to stay with Callie, but I'm not really comfortable staying with him there because of…well…"

"Because they used to screw like whores in the on call room?" Meredith asks.

"Well…yeah. A few of the interns said I could stay with them, but…well…" Lexie's voice trails off.

Meredith smiles. "Lexie, I told you, your room is still your room. It will always be your room until you don't want it anymore. You will always have a place at my house," she says, warmly.

Lexie smiles. "Thanks." She pauses and thinks for a moment. "Mer?" she says.

"What?" Meredith replies, again.

"Medicine can be a lonely profession. Sometimes I feel like…" Lexie stops.

"Like what?" Meredith asks.

"Like…well…like you did in 3rd grade. Like everyone is paired off except for you. I don't mean in a romantic sense. I mean, things are great with Mark, but he's an attending and when we're in the hospital, he can't always be my boyfriend. Sometimes he has to be an attending. And when I'm not with him, it's hard because I don't have anyone else..."

"What do you mean?" Meredith asks.

"Well…like that default person. IF the chief told everyone to pick partners, and it couldn't be your boyfriend…you and Cristina would turn to each other, Derek and Mark would pair off. Who would I pair off with? I'd have to find an Olivia Cunningham somewhere…you know?" Lexie explains.

"I'm sure you'd find someone," Meredith says, knowing as she says it that it sounds empty.

Lexie shakes her head. "Do you know that I get nervous every time I walk into the cafeteria? If Mark isn't here, I don't know where to sit. Sometimes, I literally sweat. The interns gossip about me because of Mark. If I walk over, they stop talking. And then, if I sit alone, they complain that I think I'm too good for them. Then, there's you. If you're alone, you'll probably let me sit with you. But if you're with your friends, you'll either be nice to me or you'll let them mock me and tell me to leave and not say a word to defend me. I'm not sure which Meredith I'll get. So, yeah…I know how you felt in 3rd grade." Lexie picks up her tray and starts to walk towards the garbage pail.

Meredith feels ashamed of herself for allowing her friends to hurt her sister. She gets up and follows her sister out of the cafeteria. Lexie walks rapidly and Meredith struggles to keep up with her.

"Lex?" Meredith says.

"What?" Lexie replies as she keeps a brisk pace.

Meredith grabs her arm and stops her. "You can sit with me. You know…when you come into the cafeteria. You can sit with me. No matter what. You can sit with me. Even if my friends are there. I won't let them insult you anymore," she says.

Lexie smiles slightly. "Really? Thanks. No more mocking?"

Meredith smiles back. "Well…I can't promise no mocking. We all mock. But I can promise no mean mocking," she relents.

"Fair enough," Lexie says, happily.

"We're on for Wed? I still haven't heard McSteamy details," Meredith says.

"Wednesday. I'll bring details, you bring coffee?" Lexie asks.

"Deal," Meredith replies.

***

Thanks so much to all who reviewed!! Let me know what you think of this one. I'm kind of biding my time until the next episode so they have new stuff to talk about, so if anyone has any topics they want Lexie and Mer to address, let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

Lexie opens the door to the house quietly. Her shift ended at 11:00pm and she is normally exhausted at this point, but tonight she feels jittery. She hates that Mark is staying at Callie's while his house is under construction, and despite Meredith's graciousness, she feels slightly uncomfortable coming back to Meredith's attic. She heads into the kitchen to make herself something to eat.

"Hello?" Meredith calls.

Lexie jumps, startled at anyone being there. She turns around to see Meredith in the kitchen behind her.

"Lexie! You scared me. I didn't know anyone was here," Meredith says.

Lexie suddenly feels self conscious. "I'm sorry. I should have called. I still have my key and I…well…I know you got off at 5:00 so I figured you'd be sleeping since you had a 36 hour shift. I mean, not that I check your schedule, I just wanted to see if you were in the hospital today so I could tell you I was definitely coming tonight, but then you weren't, and I forgot to call and well…"

"Lexie," Meredith says, gently.

"What?" Lexie asks.

"I'm glad you're here. The house was so quiet that I couldn't sleep. Derek is at the hospital. Izzie's…well…not here, and Alex is splitting his time between the on call room and Izzie's room. I talked to him today. He sort of broke down. He's with her now though," Meredith says. "Anyway…I'm glad you're here. I hate an empty house," Meredith says.

"Really? I'm surprised. I would think with so many people living here, that you'd sometimes want some time to yourself," Lexie remarks.

Meredith shakes her head. "DO you know why I avoid moving out with Derek?" Meredith asks.

"Why?" Lexie asks.

"Because when he's on call I'll be alone in the house. And being alone in the house is just…well…I hate being alone," Meredith says.

"I don't love it either," Lexie admits. "It used to not bother me, but well…like I said…medicine is lonely."

"So, how are things going with you and Mark?" Meredith asks.

Lexie thinks for a moment. "Good and bad. I mean, when it's just us, things are perfect. Really perfect. But then, we get back to the hospital and everyone talks and they look at me like I'm pathetic and I'm too stupid to know that he's using me. But I'm not stupid and he's not using me. I want to remind them, that when they can't remember how to insert a central line, they come to me, but all of a sudden, I'm too stupid to choose my own relationship? I don't' know…It's complicated. How did you and Derek make it work?" Lexie asks.

Meredith laughs. "Me and Derek? We didn't really make it work. The gossip got to us, the rumors got to us, my insecurities got to us…It was a mess for a while. It was hard. Now it's great, but it wasn't always like this. Don't worry…it gets easier."

"Promise?" Lexie asks.

"Promise." Meredith agrees.

"Mer…I've been thinking about our conversation yesterday. I'm sorry about what happened with your mom…" Lexie says.

"Lex…let's not get all dramatic. It was a long time ago," Meredith says, dismissively.

"But…well…can I ask you a few questions?" Lexie asks.

Meredith eyes her suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because…well…we missed the whole growing up together thing. And we don't know each other's past at all. It's not like when can go back, but we can at least learn about each other and maybe understand each other a little better…" Lexie explains.

Meredith doesn't respond, and Lexie takes her silence as consent to continue.

"What happened afterwards? I mean after the ambulance came?" Lexie asks.

Meredith turns away, but answers the question. "They took her away on a stretcher. She was yelling at me for calling the ambulance, and a paramedic took me inside so I didn't have to watch them take her away. They asked if there was anyone I could call. I told them I'd call a neighbor. He asked me how old I was. I was 9, but I lied and said I was 12. He believed me…although I don't know why. I certainly didn't look 12, but well…I guess I was mature and pretty self sufficient. So the next morning, I got up and got dressed and went to school. I didn't tell anyone what happened. I came home and did my homework and did the same thing the next day. I didn't know if she had lived or died," Meredith says, distantly.

Lexie puts her hand on Meredith's shoulder. "I wish things had been different. You could have come to stay with us. We could have been sisters…and my mom would have…"

Meredith turns around sharply. "Stop it!" she snaps.

"What?" Lexie asks, surprised.

"I didn't need you or your mom or Thatcher to save me. I made it out all right. My mom loved me. In her own way, she loved me. She wasn't warm, she wasn't emotional, and she was a terrible mother, but she needed me there and I'm glad I was there. My childhood made me strong. I can handle things now, because of my childhood. So, don't walk around feeling sorry for me. Okay?" Meredith says, harshly.

"Feeling bad that something awful happened to someone isn't the same as feeling sorry for them," Lexie points out.

"It isn't?" Meredith says, sarcastically.

"Well, like Cristina. You feel bad that Owen choked her. But you don't feel sorry for Cristina as a person. Just for the fact that something bad happened to her…right?" Lexie asks.

Meredith shrugs. "I guess."

They sit in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. "I owe you an apology…" Meredith says.

"For what?" Lexie asks.

"I told Derek to tell Mark to stay away from you," Meredith admits.

Lexie looks confused. "Why?"

"It's stupid. Really stupid. Remember when all of you interns were removing each other's appendix and giving each other epidurals?" Meredith asks.

Lexie looks embarrassed. "It was the psycho, Sadie…you know…YOUR childhood friend?" she says, defensively.

Meredith shakes her head. "I know…but at the time, you had all these cuts on your arms…I guess from all the stitches you were giving each other…but I didn't know that, and neither did Cristina, and well…Cristina thought you were a cutter."

"A cutter?" Lexie repeats.

"She thought you were cutting yourself. You were acting weird and there were cuts all over your arms and well…we just figured…that's why, remember that day when I came up to you in the hallway and asked you if you were channeling feelings of self loathing into self mutaliation?" Meredith says, knowing she isn't totally making sense.

Lexie wrinkles her nose. "Yeah. That was really weird. I figured it was just your way of insulting me again, only I couldn't even figure out the insult."

"No. I was actually concerned about you. But I didn't know what to say. Then, Mark was drooling over you and you were drooling over him and I knew what a reputation he has…and well, Cristina and I thought you were kind of fragile, so I didn't want you to get hurt by Mark Sloan in addition to whatever else was going on with you…"

"So, let me get this straight…you told Derek to tell Mark to stay away from me because you and Cristina thought I was cutting myself and didn't want me to be in a relationship with Mark Sloan because he had a reputation for being a man whore?" Lexie repeats back to Meredith trying to understand.

Meredith looks down, embarrassed at how stupid it sounds. "I guess. Yeah. That's about right."

Lexie is silent for a moment and then bursts out into hysterical laughter. "That's the funniest thing I ever heard!!" she says, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Is that why Derek punched Mark?"

Meredith smiles. "Among other reasons…yes."

Lexie struggles to catch her breath. "So, you thought I was…oh my god!"

Meredith begins to laugh too. "I guess looking back, it's kind of funny," she says, laughing with her sister.

As the laughter dies down, Lexie says, "Actually, that's kind of nice. I mean, that you were worried that I was…well…cutting myself." As she says "cutting," she begins to laugh again.

"Stop!" Meredith says, joining in the laughter.

As they both settle down, Meredith says, "Wow. That felt good."

"Yeah. It did." Lexie agrees. Then she adds, "Aren't you supposed to be laughing all the time…you know, being newly engaged and all?"

"Probably. But I don't always do things the way I'm supposed to," Meredith says.

"You're not happy?" Lexie asks.

"I'm happy. I'm just scared. And I thought it would feel different. I thought it would be this life altering thing that would make me whole. But I'm still me. I'm still Meredith Grey. I don't know…" Meredith explains, inarticulately.

Lexie thinks for a moment. "I think that's how you know it's right. The relationship doesn't change you…it just makes you happy."

"Maybe…" Meredith says.

"Hey. We didn't fight at all tonight," Lexie points out.

"The night's still young," Meredith jokes.

Lexie waits for a moment and smiles an evil grin. "So, are you going to visit Izzie tomorrow?"

Meredith grabs a paper plate off the table and throws it at her. "Annoying little sister!"

***

Thanks for all the reviews! And thanks, BloominViolet for the idea. It will be used in the next chapter!

More to come soon!


	4. Chapter 4

Lexie walks in the door to Meredith's. She is silently cursing Mark for not having made a plan when he began the construction on his house and for believing the contractor who told him that it would be fine to live there while the construction was going on. Never mind the fact that they live in Seattle where it rains all the time and the roof would have large hole in it. She sighs as she opens the door to Meredith's house for the second night in a row. She knows that no one will be home. She checked the schedule and noticed that Meredith and Alex were both on tonight, and saw that Derek's surgery was pushed back until 9pm, so he wouldn't be home until late. She looks forward to crawling into bed and not seeing or talking to anyone. Besides, she knows Meredith will ask her about her day, and she doesn't really want to explain to Meredith why her day was so rough.

"Mer? What are you doing here? I thought you were on call."

Meredith shakes her head. "I was, but Cristina and I switched. I'm on tomorrow night for her. She took tonight for me. I guess she and Owen are supposed to talk tomorrow night, so she asked if I could switch with her, and as much as I don't want to help her get back together with that creep, I couldn't say no," Meredith explains.

Lexie purposefully avoids Meredith's eye contact and says, "Well…I guess you did the right thing. I better get some sleep. You know…I'm still an intern. Gotta sleep when I can!"

As Lexie starts to walk upstairs, Meredith calls after her, "Lexie! Wait!"

Lexie stops but doesn't turn around to face Meredith. "What?" she asks.

"You're avoiding me. Did I do something?"

Lexie stammers, surprised that Meredith cares if she did something to offend her. "What? You? No! Not at all. You didn't do anything. It's just been a rough day…that's all. I'm going to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Meredith stands at the bottom of the stairs, unsure of what to do so she simply says, "Good night."

Lexie turns around and opens her mouth to say something, but closes it and walks awkwardly past Meredith. "Good night," she replies.

Meredith sits at the kitchen table, wishing Derek were home. She wants to talk to someone. Not about anything specific. She just wants to talk. She wouldn't even mind listening. It's the empty silence that is filling her head that is driving her crazy. She aimlessly walks upstairs and hears Lexie still moving around the attic. Meredith opens on the door impulsively.

"Hi," Meredith says, standing in the doorway.

"Hi," Lexie replies, surprised to see Meredith standing there.

"Ummmm…I thought you might be cold. The heat doesn't work that well up here," Meredith says.

Lexie laughs. "Mer…I lived here through the winter. It's not any colder in April than it was in January and you didn't seem to be too concerned then," she says, hoping that her sentence comes off as humorous and not bitter.

Meredith bites her lip. "Okay. You're right. But I like you a lot more now," Meredith says.

"Thanks," Lexie says, phrasing it more as a question than as a statement.

"Can I tell you about my patient today?" Meredith asks.

Lexie moves over and makes space on the bed for Meredith. She figures there is no harm in letting Meredith talk, as long as she doesn't have to tell Meredith about her own day.

"Sure," Lexie replies.

Meredith sits down. "Well…it was this teenage boy. He was 17 and has had neuroblastoma since he was 11. He has no business being alive. He's beaten all the odds. And today, Derek and I removed a new lesion from his brain. When he woke up, he thanked us, because apparently he promised his dad he wouldn't die until they got tickets to the world series together and last year, they couldn't get them. It was one of those days that reminded me why I became a surgeon in the first place. You know…saving lives," Meredith says, with a smile.

Lexie has only half heard her story. "I went to visit Izzie Stevens today," she blurts out.

"You visited Izzie? Why?" Meredith asks, surprised.

"Why?" Lexie asks, equally surprised at the question. "Because she's sick, and you weren't visiting her, so I figured someone should…"

"But you don't even know her," Meredith says, defensively.

"Maybe I don't know her as well as you do, but I know that she took the time to teach us through her illness. At a time where she was probably terrified and didn't know where to turn, she used her own personal tragedy to help us grow by turning herself into Patient X. I know that I think that's pretty amazing," Lexie explains.

"What did she say? How is she doing?" Meredith asks.

"She said she doesn't blame you for not visiting," Lexie begins.

"You talked about me?" Meredith asks.

"Well, she asked how you were. I didn't tell her that you were engaged. I told her that you were fine and that we were living together while Mark's house was being worked on…and do you know what she said?" Lexie asks.

"What?" Meredith asks.

"She said I should take her room. That the attic is cold and that I should take her room while she's gone. That's your friend, Izzie Stevens. She's the one who offers a random intern her room while in between chemo treatments. Just thought you should know that…" Lexie says.

Meredith smiles. "Yeah. That's Izzie."

Lexie makes a face. "Of course, she also said that I could take her room because if she ever gets better she's going to move into Alex's room and never leave it because they are going to have hot, dirty sex all day, which was more information than I ever needed about them…so, I guess that's your friend, Izzie Stevens too." Lexie admits.

Meredith laughs. "That sounds a lot like Izzie."

When the laughter dies down, both of them are quiet. "Thank you," Meredith says.

"For what?" Lexie asks.

"For visiting Izzie. For being strong enough to do what I couldn't. I'm going to see her. I just needed time," Meredith says.

"Does that mean you're ready?" Lexie asks.

"I think so…" Meredith says.

"Okay," Lexie says.

The two girls sit in silence. Until Meredith says, "Ummm…do you want to come downstairs and stay in Izzie's room?"

Lexie gives her a look. "Are you crazy? Has anyone changed the sheets since her and Alex were last there? I'm not going near that bed!"

Meredith laughs. "Sometimes, when Cristina or I had a fight with whoever we were dating, we would sleep in the same bed. It was less lonely that way…"

Lexie looks at her strangely. "Ummm…okay…" she says.

"Do you want to stay in my room? Sort of like a sleepover?" Meredith asks.

Lexie thinks for a minute. "Is this like a sleepover where I fall asleep and you put toothpaste in my hair, or is it a sleepover where we make popcorn and watch movies?"

Meredith smiles. "Definitely popcorn but I don't know if I can stay awake for a movie," she says.

Lexie grabs her pillow.

Meredith stops her. "You don't have to bring your own pillow, Lex. We're not going camping…"

Lexie laughs. "Okay…"

As the walk to Meredith's room, Lexie asks, "So, Cristina and Owen are talking tonight?"

Meredith rolls her eyes. "Let's hope they're talking. I'm hoping she's talking when they're done. You never know when his hands may wrap themselves around her throat…" she says, angrily.

"If they have a fight, Cristina will probably come here…" Lexie points out.

Meredith nods. "Yeah. Probably," she says.

"Will I have to get out of bed? I mean, if Cristina comes? Because I'm an intern and I don't get much sleep and well…" Lexie pleads, thinking of how awful it is when sleep gets interrupted when it comes so infrequently.

Meredith shakes her head. "No. It's a big bed. We can all fit," she says.

Lexie stares at her incredulously. "You want me to sleep with Cristina Yang?" she says.

Meredith laughs. "I can't believe that Mark Sloan is missing this conversation. It's his dream come true!" she says.

Lexie laughs. "I'm going to bed. I'm so tired, I won't notice if you invite the whole hospital to sleep with us…"

****

Thanks so much for the reviews, everyone! I'm so glad you liked the last chapter. Thanks BloomingViolet for the suggestion. Can't wait until next week when Grey's comes back!!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read and review!


	5. Chapter 5

Despite their fatigue, Lexie and Meredith lie awake in Meredith's bed.

"So, tell me about my father…" Meredith says, suddenly.

Lexie wrinkles her forehead. "Really?" she asks.

"Yeah…I want to know what he was like," Meredith says.

Lexie laughs. "He was a good father. I mean, he was kind of a bumbling fool a lot of the time. I mean, my friends would come over and he'd make stupid jokes. I'd get embarrassed…but not really…you know?" she says.

Meredith smiles. "Not really. But tell me," she says, closing her eyes as though she were listening to a bedtime story.

"Well…he used to read bedtime stories and do funny voices. It was cute when I was 5. Of course, by the time I was 10, I used to roll my eyes…but I secretly liked it," Lexie admits.

"Bedtime stories? Like what?" Meredith asks.

"Well, when I was little, we read a lot of Dr. Seuss. When I got older, we'd pick a chapter book and he'd read me a chapter each night. Sometimes I'd read to him."

Meredith tries to picture this, but can't. She laughs, wryly. "My mom used to read medical textbooks out loud. I was in the room some of the time, so I'd hear her as I fell asleep. Does that count?" she asks.

Lexie laughs sympathetically. "He was clumsy. He was always knocking things over. At Molly's wedding, when he lifted the veil off her face, he knocked it off her head. My poor mom was so horrified!! She and I had to try to get it back on quickly without causing a scene, and my dad was apologizing, and Molly was laughing…"

Meredith smiles. "It sounds like a nice day. It sounds like you all were happy."

Lexie suddenly looks sad. "I miss her. My mom…Not a day goes by that I don't think…_Wow…my mom won't be at my wedding._ It makes me kind of mad at Molly which is totally unfair because it's not her fault. But I think back to that day, and to when the baby was born and I think that my mom was there for those things with her and she never will be for me…"

Meredith sits up and places her hand on Lexie's arm. "I'm sorry," she says.

Lexie shakes her head. "No. It's okay. I mean, I shouldn't be complaining. I had a wonderful childhood and she was the perfect mother. And my dad…well, he was a good dad until she died. I mean…now…well…with the drinking and everything…it's just never going to be the same," she says.

Meredith thinks for a moment. "You know…I used to be jealous of you and your perfect childhood, but now I'm starting to realize, that maybe I got the better end of the deal," she says.

Lexie give Meredith a questioning look. "Really? Why?" she asks.

"Because I never had a family to lose. I lost a mother who never took very good care of me. You lost a mother who meant the world to you. I lost a father I never knew. You lost a father who read you bedtime stories. That must hurt. He's here but he's not here. I can't imagine how that must feel," Meredith says.

Lexie feels tears prick her eyes. She didn't intend to cry. She doesn't want to cry. She swallows hard to avoid crying. "I'd still rather have loved and lost…or whatever that saying is…" Lexie says.

Meredith shrugs. "Okay. But I still think I got the better deal," she says, with a smirk.

Lexie is quiet and then changes the subject. "Do you think I'm going to be a good doctor?" she asks.

"Why do you ask? You're top of the intern class, you know," Meredith point out.

"Because I get nervous and sometimes I talk too much. I say things to patients that I shouldn't say. I ramble, and I probably don't sound very professional when I do," Lexie says.

Meredith smiles, remembering her own intern year. "All interns ramble. At least you do it intelligently and you know you do it. As you gain more confidence the rambling goes away."

Suddenly, the door to Meredith's room opens and Cristina is standing in the doorway with tears streaming down her cheeks. When she sees Lexie she wipes the tears from her face and angrily asks, "What is SHE doing here?"

Meredith gets up and leads Cristina to the bed. "Lexie's staying with me right now. What happened with you and Owen?"

"I'm not telling you in front of Intern #3. Send her back to the attic," Cristina says.

Lexie starts to stand up. "I should go. I'm just going to…"

Meredith stops her. "Stay where you are, Lexie. We're going to have our sleepover. Cristina, get in bed. You can join us."

Cristina stares at Meredith like she has three heads. "Are you insane? You want me to sleep with an intern? You want me to sleep with Lexipedia? No chance. I'm going home."

Meredith grabs Cristina's arm. "You're not going anywhere. You're sad, and when you're sad you need to be with your person," she says.

"Mer…really….it's okay…" Lexie says.

Meredith shakes her head. "No. It's not okay. Both of you, get in bed…we're going to sleep."

Cristina glares at Lexie. "You better not touch me," she says.

"Oh…I won't. I'm not a restless sleeper. Actually, I'm a really sound sleeper. Once…when I was at sleepaway camp, I…" Lexie stops where Meredith kicks her.

"Rambling!" she whispers.

"Sorry," Lexie apologizes.

"I'll sleep in the middle so no one touches each other. Now let's go to sleep," Meredith says, realizing that she sounds like a babysitter.

"Do interns wet the bed?" Cristina asks.

"Cristina! Stop it!" Meredith says.

"Fine…" Cristina grumbles. "She better not be a blanket hog."

Everyone is silent for a moment until Meredith lets out a loud snore.

"Is she kidding?" Lexie asks.

"You haven't even scratched the surface," Cristina says.

"It's going to be a long night…isn't it," Lexie says.

"You better believe it," Cristina replies.


	6. Chapter 6

"So then, we had sex. Amazing sex. Not hot, dirty sex, but slow, passionate sex where we looked into each other's eyes and it was like we were the only two people in the world. It was that kind of sex. And then, I lay next to him…and I couldn't fall asleep. I felt like I wasn't safe," Cristina explains.

Lexie nods sympathetically. "I can imagine. I mean it must have been so scary for you when he…ummm…well…you know…choked you," she says.

Meredith sits up in bed, unable to believe that she has heard what she heard. Cristina confiding in Lexie? It just doesn't ring true to her.

"Are you two bonding?" Meredith asks, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

Lexie laughs. "Well, you were snoring so loud that there was no way we could sleep, so we started talking," she explains.

"So what happened with you and Owen?" Meredith asks.

"Sex. Not the hot, dirty kind, but the slow, passionate kind, and then they were laying together, but Cristina couldn't fall asleep because she was scared she would be choked again," Lexie explains.

Meredith bites her lip to avoid laughing. "I'm sorry…I don't mean to laugh…it's just that…well…"

"I know. I confided in an intern, but she's an intern with a photographic memory, so it's a little different," Cristina says, justifying her bonding session to Meredith.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Meredith says, shrugging her shoulders smugly.

Lexie and Cristina burst out laughing. "Ummm…what would help us sleep at night would be if you weren't snoring!" Cristina says.

"Hey!" Meredith says, throwing a pillow at her.

Cristina throws it back at Meredith and then looks at her watch. "Damn. I have to run to the hospital."

Meredith looks at her watch. "Wait five minutes. I'll come with you. I want to go see Izzie," she says, glancing at Lexie who smiles.

"Yeah. I noticed you haven't been there. And I'm supposedly the robot…" Cristina grumbles.

"I'll make breakfast," Meredith says.

"Okay. I'm hungry," Cristina says, then she looks at Lexie. "How about you? Do interns eat breakfast?" she asks.

"Cristina! Stop it!" Meredith scolds. "How about scrambled eggs? That's about as domestic as I get…"

"Fine. I miss Izzie's muffins…" Cristina says.

"Ummm…" Lexie stammers.

"What?" Cristina asks.

"I…ummm…nothing," she says. "Eggs sound great," Lexie says, brightly.

"She was cool last night…she's annoying again today," Cristina says.

"Ummmm…she can hear. I don't know if they covered this at Stanford, but interns have auditory nerves," Meredith scolds.

"Ummm…hello??? I'm in the kitchen with you…" Lexie says.

"Whatever," Cristina says.

Meredith scrambles the eggs and Lexie sets the table. Cristina makes coffee.

"Do interns drink coffee?" Cristina asks, as she puts out three mugs.

"We do, unless we can get it intravenously," Lexie says.

"Hmmm…she's a little less annoying when she's sarcastic…" Cristina says, to Meredith.

"Auditory nerves…" Meredith reminds Cristina.

Meredith scoops large portions of eggs on each of their plates.

"I never cook. I mean, I'm just so not domestic, but if I'm going to get married, maybe I should learn…you know? Are the eggs okay? I mean, I kind of suck in the kitchen. Are they awful?" Meredith asks.

Cristina shovels eggs into her mouth. "They're fine. I haven't eaten in 36 hours other than a Nutra-grain bar. You could scramble cement and I'd eat it…" Cristina admits.

Lexie moves eggs around her plate. "What's wrong? Are they that bad?" Meredith asks.

Lexie shakes her head. "No…ummm…they're fine. I'm just…not that hungry." Lexie says.

"Eat them. You're giving her a complex and she's not going to cook anymore. I need food, and Izzie's sick, so eat the damn eggs, Three!" Cristina says.

Lexie shovels a forkful of eggs in her mouth and swallows hard, washing it down with coffee.

"Is that enough? Does anyone want more?" Meredith asks.

Cristina shakes her head. "No. I'm fine. I have to get to the hospital, and so do you if we're going to stop by Izzie's room before rounds," she says.

"Okay," Meredith says. "Lexie, finish your breakfast. You have a 24 hour shift today. You need to keep your strength up."

Something about what Meredith says, sounds so nurturing and caring, that Lexie does exactly what Meredith tells her to do. She spoons the eggs into her mouth, quickly and without thinking.

"Come on. We'll give you a ride," Meredith says.

"Interns sit in the back," Cristina says.

"I kind of figured that…" Lexie says. "Ummm…let's drive quickly. We have pre-rounds and I might need to…"

"Shut up and get in the car," Cristina says.

Everyone piles in the car and Meredith starts asking Cristina about Owen. "So, you guys ended up talking last night? I thought tonight was the big talk?" she says.

"It is. I ran into him at the hospital while I was covering your patient. By the way…you didn't tell me that old tumor lady spits when she talks. Thanks for the warning. Anyway…he tried talking to me, but I didn't want to. I need today to gather my thoughts. I was thinking that maybe Izzie would help me figure out what to say…you know?" Cristina says.

"Why Izzie?" Meredith asks.

"I don't know. Don't dying people get wise? Aren't they all wise, like sages?" Cristina asks.

"Don't say that!" Meredith says.

"Don't say what? That Izzie's wise? I know she's done some dumb things, but she's…" Cristina says, as Meredith cuts her off.

"No! That Izzie's dying. She's not dying! She's sick, but she's not dying…" Meredith says.

"Mer. We're doctors. She has a 5% chance. She's dying until she's not," Cristina says, matter-of-factly.

"She's not dying," Meredith snaps.

As they pull into the parking lot, Lexie jumps out of the car. Meredith calls after her. "Lexie! Wait up!" she calls.

Lexie runs ahead forcing Meredith and Cristina to run to catch up to her.

"Oh my god! Meredith says, as she sees Lexie's face swollen with hives.

Lexie collapses on a bench in the lobby. "Epi...need…epi…" she gasps.

"She needs Epinephrine. Stay here. I'll go get it!" Cristina says.

"Are you allergic to anything?" Meredith asks.

Lexie doesn't answer, as she is clearly having trouble breathing.

Cristina returns with a shot of epinephrine which she shoots into Lexie's arm.

Lexie's breathing slowly returns to normal. "Sorry," she says.

"Are you allergic to anything?" Meredith asks, repeating her previous question.

Lexie nods, embarrassed.

"What are you allergic to?" Meredith asks.

"Ummm…eggs," Lexie admits.

"You're allergic to eggs? Why didn't you just tell me? Why would you eat a plateful of scrambled eggs?" Meredith asks.

"I'm out of here. Interns are stupid. And what a waste of Epinephrine…" Cristina sighs. "Meet me at Izzie's room in 10 minutes," she says, turning to Meredith.

Meredith nods and turns back to Lexie.

"I forgot I was allergic. It's no big deal. Sorry I scared you," Lexie says.

"You forgot you were allergic? You have a photographic memory…" Meredith says, shaking her head.

"You were being so nice to me. You were cooking breakfast for me. It was like…"

"Like what?" Meredith asks, gently.

"Like we were a family. The way you told me to eat breakfast…it was something my mom would have said…and well…I just didn't want to ruin the family moment." Lexie admits.

Meredith smiles, warmly. "If I tell you that we're family, can we avoid any potentially fatal politeness in the future?" she asks.

Lexie nods.

"We're family. Of course, we're now family that's really late for rounds," Meredith says.

Lexie looks at her watch. "Yeah. We are. Say hi to Izzie fo me," Lexie says.

"I will. Don't eat any eggs," Meredith says.

"I won't." Lexie promises, as she hurries off to rounds.

"Lexie!" Meredith calls.

"What?" Lexie calls back.

"Are you allergic to anything else?" Meredith asks.

"No," Lexie replies.

"Good. Because I was thinking of making dinner tomorrow night for Derek. Why don't you and Mark join us," Meredith says.

Lexie beams. "Sounds great!" she says, running to rounds.


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't believe I missed you in the dress! I mean, I'm so glad Izzie got to see it, but I wish I had gotten to see you in it. I bet you looked beautiful," Lexie says, sincerely.

"You'll get to see me in the dress," Meredith promises.

"Really? How?" Lexie asks.

"Lexie, you're my sister. You're in the wedding!" Meredith points out.

Lexie's eyes light up. "Really? I am? I'm going to be a bridesmaid? Oh my god! I can't believe I'm going to be a bridesmaid!" she says, happily.

"Of course you are. But don't get too excited! You haven't seen the dress that Izzie picked out for you guys to wear!" Meredith says, smiling.

Lexie watches Meredith intently.

"What?" Meredith asks.

"You're a happy bride. I never thought I'd say it, but I think you're going to like this whole wedding thing…" Lexie says.

Meredith smirks. "Nah. I'm just doing it for Izzie…" she says.

Lexie shakes her head. "Liar. But whatever. Ummm…are we still on for dinner tonight?"

Meredith shrugs. "That depends…"

"On what?" Lexie asks.

"On if there's any food left in Seattle after you ate everything yesterday," Meredith says.

Lexie looks embarrassed. "It was just that…Mark…and Derek and the surgery…and I was in the middle and they…"

Meredith laughs. "We're on for dinner. And I'm not making eggs."

"Thank you. What time should we be here? Do you want me to come early to help you?" Lexie asks.

"No. I'm going to be a happy bride and a domestic bride. I'm cooking this meal by myself. I have a recipe and everything!" Meredith says.

"What are you making?" Lexie asks, nervously.

"I'm not telling. You'll have to wait and see. Izzie gave me some recipes," Meredith says.

"Mer?" Lexie asks.

"What?" Meredith replies.

"Did you mean what you said the other day with Derek and Mark? Is my skin terrible and is my ass huge?" Lexie asks.

Meredith looks at her strangely. "No. Your skin is perfect and what are you…a size 2? You obviously haven't learned much about Derek and Mark…They fight a lot. And when they do, the only way to stop them is to shake it up a little. You insult someone else so they are forced to laugh together. It always works," Meredith explains.

"So you had to tell my boyfriend I had a fat ass?" Lexie asks.

"Your ass is fine. If it isn't, Izzie will send you to ass boot camp or something before the wedding to get in shape for the bridesmaid dress," Meredith says.

Lexie looks unconvinced, but says, "Okay. Thanks."

Meredith's smile disappears for a moment.

"What's wrong?" Lexie asks.

Meredith shakes her head. "Nothing."

Lexie looks concerned. "It's not nothing. Come on. You just told me I'm your sister. I'm in the wedding. Tell me what's wrong," Lexie pleads.

"It's Izzie. She's really sick. She's so sick," Meredith says.

Lexie nods somberly. "She is."

"And I try to try on dresses for her and I smile and put on the tiara so she can be happy and get her mind off the chemo but, well…she's still sick. No matter how many of those poofy white dresses I put on, she's still going to have cancer," Meredith says.

"But at least you're making her forget how bad it is for a little while. That counts for something…doesn't it?" Lexie replies.

Meredith shrugs. "Does it? And do you think she really forgets? Or is she thinking the same thing I'm thinking?"

"What's that?" Lexie asks.

Meredith looks away. "That she might not make it to the wedding."

Lexie looks at Meredith harshly. "Screw the odds!"

"What?" Meredith asks.

"Screw the odds!" Lexie repeats. "My mother died of hiccups, and you're getting married in a big white poofy gown and I'm a bridesmaid in your wedding. What were the odds of any of those things happening? I say, screw the odds. Izzie's going to be at your damn wedding," Lexie says, sounding angry.

Meredith thinks about it. "And I'm about to turn on the oven. Screw the odds," she says, slowly.

Lexie smiles. "I better go. You need to start cooking…"

"Yeah. I should. Come over at 7 tomorrow. Tell Mark not to be early. He's always early," Meredith says.

"Okay, but odds are, he'll be early anyway," Lexie says.

"Screw the odds, Lexie. Just be here at 7." Meredith says with a half smile.

"See you at 7." Lexie says.

********************

Just a short update to celebrate an awesome night of Grey's! Dinner party to follow soon!! It's going to be a funny one!!!

Side note***Did you just LOVE the last scene...with Mer and Lexie??? I did! And how awesome has Cristina been to Izzie? So sweet!


	8. Chapter 8

Meredith looks at Izzie's recipe.

_Veal Chops with Roquefort Butter…_

_Place the butter and the Roquefort cheese in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and mix on medium speed until smooth._

Meredith picks up the phone. "Cristina? It's me."

"I know…I have caller I.D. like the rest of the world," Cristina replies.

"Are you with Izzie?" Meredith asks.

"No. I was, but she fell asleep. Why?" Cristina asks.

"I need her. I need her help," Meredith says.

"You need Izzie's help? Mer? She can't help you right now. She's a mess," Cristina says, sounding angry.

"Don't snap at me. Izzie gave me a recipe. I'm making dinner for Lexie and Mark and Derek, and I had questions," Meredith says.

"You want me to wake Izzie for a recipe? You're a surgeon, Meredith! Read the directions," Cristina says.

"I did. I have questions," Meredith says.

"I went to Stanford. What's the question," Cristina says, exasperated.

"Well, it says I'm supposed to have Roquefort cheese. I don't even know what that is. But I have slices of American cheese. You know, the Kraft kind…wrapped in plastic? Can I just use that?" Meredith asks.

Cristina shrugs. "Cheese is cheese. Does it matter? American, Roquefort? Who cares?"

"Okay. And it says something about a paddle attachment to a mixer? What does that mean?" Meredith asks.

"A paddle? All I know about paddles is they are used to shock people. Just stir it with a spoon. I'm sure it doesn't matter." Cristina says.

"Okay. Thanks." Meredith says.

"One more thing…" Meredith asks.

"What?" Cristina asks.

"What's parchment paper?" Meredith asks.

"Oh! I know that one. My mom used to make this weird fish thing with parchment paper! It's this really thin paper that you roll things in," Cristina says. "It looks sort of like gauze."

"Oh. I don't have any. Do you think I could use gauze? I have gauze." Meredith says.

"Sure. Why not. Gauze will probably be fine. I have to run. I have a procedure in 20 minutes and I want to go check on Izzie," Cristina says.

"Okay. Thanks for the help. Tell Izzie that I'll be there tomorrow. I'm going to spend the day trying on veils for her," Meredith says.

"Okay. I'll tell her when she wakes up," Cristina promises. "Meredith?"

"What?" Meredith asks.

"This dinner with Lexie and Mark and you and Derek? If I were with Owen would I be invited?" Cristina asks.

Meredith stammers, embarrassed for not thinking how talking about the dinner might have made Cristina feel. "Oh…ummm…you can come if you want…I just thought that…well…I mean, Lexie and I are trying to get to know each other…and well…"

Cristina cuts her off. "No. It's fine. If it's a sister bonding thing, that's fine. I just needed to know you weren't turning into that person who ditches her single friends when they're not part of a couple anymore…" she says.

Meredith smiles, although she knows Cristina can't see her. "You're not just my friend. You're my person," she says.

"Okay. Just making sure. Good luck with your weird cheese dinner," Cristina says.

"Thanks. I'll bring in leftovers for you and Izzie tomorrow," Meredith says.

"Please don't. Izzie's been vomiting all day and I've been cleaning up her vomit. The last thing either of us need is your cooking," Cristina says.

"Bye." Meredith says, hanging up the phone.

(Break)

By 7:00pm, Meredith has set the table, not necessarily correctly, but she followed Izzie's diagram and even folded the napkins into little triangles. Her veal chops are marinating and ready to go, and she has even has an apple pie ready to be warmed up. Izzie gave her a recipe to make one, but Meredith decided that buying one at the supermarket, putting it on a nice plate and heating it up in the oven could give a similar effect for a lot less work.

At 7:01pm, Mark, Lexie and Derek knock on the door.

"I made him wait until 7:01," Lexie says, proudly as she hands Meredith a glass bowl with a salad in it.

"Thank you," Meredith says, smiling a very domesticated smile.

"I brought booze," Mark says, handing Meredith a bottle of tequila.

"Classy," Derek says, sarcastically to Mark, as he hands Meredith a bottle of champagne.

"Champagne?" Meredith asks.

"It's our thing…champagne," Derek replies kissing her.

"Our thing…" Meredith repeats, smiling.

"Yeah, Derek's so classy, he lives in a trailer," Mark whispers to Lexie.

"Mark! Behave yourself!" Lexie reprimands.

"Why don't you guys come in and sit down," Meredith says, formally.

"It's cute and all that you want to play house, Mer, but Derek and I have to catch the end of the game. I'm going into the living room," Mark says as he turns to Derek, "You coming?"

"Sounds good, man," Derek replies, following Mark into the living room.

"You look nervous," Lexie points out to Meredith, as she watches Meredith fumble with the mismatched champagne glasses she is placing on the table.

"Nervous? Why would I be nervous?" Meredith asks, as she drops a champagne glass and it shatters on the ground.

"I don't know…maybe because something is burning?" Lexie points out as she points to the boiling pot on the top of the stove that is producing a thick, black smoke.

"Oh my god!" Meredith says, grabbing the pot and moving it to a cooler burner.

Lexie peers into the pot. "What is that…or what WAS that?" she asks, squinting at the charred mess that inhabits the small pot.

"It WAS boiled apples with cinnamon. Izzie told me that it was supposed to make the house smell 'inviting.'" Meredith says, rolling her eyes.

Lexie chews on her lip thoughtfully. "Well…it does. It smells very inviting…" she says, trying to make Meredith feel better.

"Yeah. If you're the fire department," Meredith says, sarcastically.

"Here. Let me wash the pot," Lexie says, moving toward the sink.

"Thanks. I'm going to get that glass off the floor before someone gets hurt," Meredith says.

"Everything okay in there, Mer?" Derek calls.

"Everything's fine!" Meredith calls back.

"Fine fine or fine FINE?" Derek asks.

"It's fine! Don't worry. We've got it under control!" Meredith says.

Mark turns to Derek. "Look on the bright side…you'll never be a fat old man. You might be an old man, but if she's cooking, you'll never be fat!"

"Can't argue with you there…" Derek admits.

"So, what do you think of these two?" Mark asks.

"What two?" Derek questions.

"Lexie and Meredith. All this bonding. It's good. Right?" Mark says.

"Of course it's good. How could it not be good?" Derek asks, confused.

"No. It is good. It's good. I was just thinking…" Mark says.

"Thinking? You? Did it hurt?" Derek asks with a sardonic smile.

Mark ignores the question and says, "I was thinking about how happy Lexie was this morning…" Mark says.

"That's nice. Was she happy because you and I are talking so she can stop eating twinkies?" Derek asks.

"No. She was happy because…ummm…Meredith asked her to be bridesmaid," Mark say, slowly.

"Yeah. Meredith told me about that. I think it's nice that they…Wait…you're wondering whether or not you're going to be…" Derek begins to laugh.

Mark becomes defensive. "I wasn't wondering anything. I was simply happy that your ice queen fiancé finally extended an olive branch to Lexie!"

Derek continues to laugh. "You want to be in the wedding!" he says, laughing so hard, he can't catch his breath.

Meredith and Lexie hear the laughter and venture out into the living room.

"What's so funny?" Lexie asks.

Derek continues his laughter. "Your husband here was wondering if all this bonding was good. But what he was really wondering was…" Derek stops speaking to catch his breath and begins to laugh again.

Mark chimes in. "What I was really wondering is what I'm going to do when Derek's wife wants me again. I mean, is doesn't seem right to screw Lexie's sister!" Mark says.

An uncomfortable silence overtakes the room. Lexie glances nervously at Meredith, who is staring nervously at Derek.

Derek stops laughing and turns to face Mark. Derek looks at his friend coldly. "Like right and wrong matter in your world?"

"It must not feel so great when you realize that you can't keep your wife happy," Mark sneers back at Derek.

Derek pulls back his fist and before anyone can stop him, Derek punches Mark in the face.

"Oh my god!" Lexie screams.

"Derek!" Meredith yells.

Mark grabs Derek and the two of them are on the floor pummeling each other.

Lexie turns to Meredith. "What do we do?" she asks, panicked.

"Go get some ice. When they're finished, they're going to need to ice the bruises," Meredith says calmly.

Lexie trips as she runs into the kitchen. "Oh my god! Owwww!" she screams.

Mark immediately untangles himself from Derek and runs into the kitchen followed by Meredith and Derek.

"Lexie! Are you okay?" He asks.

Lexie lays on the floor for a moment. "I think so but I…" she touches her cheek which is gushing blood.

Mark kneels beside her and looks at her face. He picks up a shard of glass from the floor. "You need stitches," he says.

"Yeah. I kind of figured that," Lexie says.

"Here. Let's get you into a chair," Meredith says, helping Lexie to her feet.

"Do you have any gauze?" Derek asks.

"It's next to the veal package," Meredith says, pointing to the counter.

Derek looks at her questioningly.

"Don't ask." Meredith says.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Derek says, applying pressure to Lexie's face with a large piece of gauze.

"Owww!" Lexie says.

Mark strokes her hair. "That's what you like when you're hurt. Isn't it?" he says.

Lexie nods, pitifully.

"Does anyone have a suture kit?" Mark asks.

"I have one of my mom's old medical kits. Maybe there's one in there," Meredith says as she runs upstairs to check.

Derek and Mark both look at Lexie to avoid looking at each other. Derek continues to apply pressure while Mark strokes her hair.

"I found it!" Meredith says, rushing downstairs holding a small box.

Mark goes to open the box. It drops out of his hand. "Damn it!" he says, grabbing his hand in pain.

"What's the matter?" Derek asks.

"My hand. Look at it!" Mark snaps.

"It's swollen. Looks like a pretty bad sprain," Mark says.

"Can you suture?" Meredith asks.

Mark picks up the needle and tries to maneuver it in the air. "Damn it!" he exclaims.

"What?" Lexie asks.

"I can't bend my wrist enough to get a good angle on the stitches. It's your face. I'm not going to chance it!" Mark says.

"I can do it," Meredith says.

"Are you kidding me, Grey? You're a second year resident! You think I'm letting you suture my girlfriend's face?" Mark asks. "Shepherd…you've gotta do it," Mark says.

"Give me the needle, Mer," Derek says, calmly.

"Ummm…okay. You're going to stitch my face here? Without anesthetic? Do you think this is a good idea?" Lexie asks.

"Mer…do you have any ice?" Derek asks.

"Ice?" Lexie asks.

"You want to go all the way to SGH for a few stitches? You'll get some stupid on call intern…no offense. I'd rather Shepherd do them here," Mark says.

"I guess," Lexie says, sounding unconvinced.

"What stitch should I use? I mean, to produce the least scarring. In my field, we don't worry so much about scarring. We worry about bleeding out and hemorrhaging," Derek says.

"I know. There's a way to do this with no scarring and with only six stitches. Just do exactly as I say…all right?" Mark says.

Derek nods.

"Mer, you come over here…" Mark says, ordering Meredith to stand next to Lexie.

"Oh? I get to scrub in? I'm not just a second year resident now?" Meredith asks, sarcastically.

"Scrub in? No. You get to hold her hand and stroke her hair. That's what Lexie likes when she's hurt," Mark says, kissing Lexie on her non-bleeding cheek.

"Mark…it's really okay. I'll be fine…" Lexie says.

Meredith steps next to Lexie. "Okay. I draw the line at hair stroking, but hand holding I can do," she says as she grips Lexie's hand.

"You can be the anesthesiologist," Derek says, handing Mark a piece of ice.

"Yeah…there's a job you can do with one hand…" Mark says.

"No kidding…" Derek says, laughing.

Derek threads the needle. "I'm going to go in on the right…okay?"he asks.

Mark shakes his head. "No. Go in on the left, do two stitches in a blanket stitch and then do two really close Smead-Jones stitches and then go back to 2 blanket stitches. If you do them all really tight, you should be able to get away with only 6 stitches," Mark explains.

Derek nods. "Anesthesiologist please," he says gesturing towards Mark.

Mark holds the ice to Lexie's cheek. "Don't worry, babe. We'll have you back together in no time," he says, gently holding the ice to her face.

"Count to 30 when you hold the ice cube on her face…" Meredith says.

"Did they teach you that in med school?" Mark asks.

"No. I learned it at a slumber party in the 6th grade when we all tried to pierce each other's ears with a needle," Meredith says.

"You did study at the finest institutions…" Mark quips.

"Trust me…Lindsay Ford wishes she did!" Meredith shrugs.

"Humor her and her sixth grade friend with badly pierced ears," Derek laughs.

Meredith holds Lexie's hand tightly. "If this was a ploy to get them to stop fighting, maybe you should have gone back to Twinkies!" Meredith says as Mark holds the ice to her face.

"Twinkies were a lot more fun!" Lexie agrees.

"27, 28, 29, 30," Mark says.

"That's the patented Grey anesthesia method," Derek says.

Meredith narrows her eyes at him.

"Ooooohhhh…Shepherd's in trouble!" Mark teases.

"Don't mess with me while I'm holding a needle to your girlfriend's face," Derek says.

"Ummmm…hey! I didn't do anything! Don't use me as a weapon!" Lexie pleads.

Derek smiles. "You're going to be my sister-in-law. I'm going to need you on my side when I'm in the doghouse with Meredith. So, don't worry…you're safe in my hands!" Derek says.

"Thank god!" Lexie says.

"2 mattress stitches," Derek says, holding the needle up to Lexie's cheek.

Lexie grimaces.

"Squeeze my hand. It will be over before you know it," Meredith says.

Lexie squeezes hard and Meredith grimaces back.

"Not that hard! I need that hand! I'm a surgeon…I don't want to be an anesthesiologist like your boyfriend here!" Meredith says.

Lexie smiles and Derek says, "Don't move! I want to get these stitches as close together as possible."

"Sorry," Lexie says through clenched teeth. Tears prick her eyes as Derek pierces her skin.

"Guess the Grey anesthesia method failed," Mark comments.

Meredith shrugs. "It worked at my slumber party."

Lexie groans.

"Okay...check this out, Sloan. Looks good…right?" Derek asks.

Mark looks and nods in approval. "Looks VERY good. Nice work. It looks like I did it myself," he says.

"Now, I haven't done a Smead-Jones since my residency…" Derek admits.

"Come up and over…" Mark says.

"I know how to do it," Meredith says.

Mark looks at here. "Second year…resident…Hold your sister's hand and be quiet!" Mark says.

Meredith scowls but continues to hold Lexie's hand as the two of them review the stitch.

Derek makes two quick neat stitches and Mark checks them.

"You should have gone into plastics, man. That looks great," he says.

"Nah…I like real medicine," Derek says.

"Yeah…you have that god complex…" Mark points out.

"Hey…when you've got it, flaunt it," Derek replies.

"They're getting along," Lexie says.

"Too bad. I spent a long time cooking and there's plenty of food for you to binge on if the fighting continues," Meredith teases.

Derek finishes the last two stitches and Lexie says, "Thank you…" and wipes the unwelcome tears from the corner of her eyes.

"You okay, Lex?" Mark says, stroking her face gently around the cut.

Lexie nods. "I'm fine. Mer spent all day cooking. Let's eat…" she says.

"I'm in!" Mark says.

"I'm scared," Derek whispers to Mark.

"Me too. But I once heard Owen say that when a buddy of his got captured by the Iraqis and they were going to torture him, he said something about it being easier if you got it over quickly," Mark says, with a smile.

"You guys are terrible! Meredith has been cooking all day and then you start a fight and beat each other up like junior high kids, and now you're mocking her. Stop it!" Lexie lectures.

"She sounds feisty. Maybe the anesthesiologist gave her a bad combination of drugs," Derek says, elbowing Mark.

"Nah. I think she was breathing in fumes from the chef!" Mark says, laughing.

Lexie looks at Meredith and says, "Do you hear them? Oh my god! They are totally obnoxious!"

"Ignore it. They'll eat their words when they taste my veal!" Meredith says, confidently.

"At least they'll be something edible," Derek whispers.

Mark laughs and Meredith and Lexie glare at them as Meredith takes a large pan of veal with oozing cheese out of the oven.

Mark and Lexie sit next to each other at the table. Derek sits across from them. Meredith spoons a generous helping of veal on to each of their plates and finally on her own.

Derek looks at Mark who looks at Lexie. Each of them seems extremely ambivalent about tasting the cheesy mess that is on their plate.

"Oh wait! I forgot the vegetables. Hold on!" Meredith says, removing a tray of zucchini and carrots julienne rolled in what is supposed to be parchment paper but is actually gauze.

Meredith spoons a portion of the vegetables on everyone's plate and sits down to join everyone.

"What? Isn't anyone going to eat?" she asks.

All three of them stare at the unappetizing mess on their plates and dread the idea of taking the first bite. Finally, Lexie speaks up.

"Well…I'm starving!" she says, cutting into her veal with false enthusiasm.

As she brings the spoon to her mouth and the taste hits her tongue she gags unexpectedly.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asks. "Is it awful? Did I do something wrong?"

Lexie looks at Meredith's hopeful face, and cannot bring herself to tell her the truth so she says, "No. It's great! I just think after my stitches I should probably stick with something a little…ummm…softer…like these vegetables. As she tries to cut through the gauze, she notices that the fibers have burned and become intertwined with the food making it impossible to eat the carrots and zucchini without biting into a mouthful of shredded gauze.

Lexie looks pleadingly at Mark who takes pity on her and says, "I'm ready to eat. I'm starving! I was just teasing you, Mer. I'm sure you're a great cook…and…" as he brings the fork to his mouth, he looks at Lexie in horror.

"Just swallow it!" she whispers.

"I can't," he mouths back.

Derek sees Meredith watching them and looking upset so he takes a big bite and says, "It's delicious, Mer. You did a great job."

Meredith smiles. "Really? Thank you."

"You should try some…The cook has to eat too," Derek says, cutting off a small piece and holding the fork up to Meredith's face.

Meredith opens her mouth and allows him to feed her. Mark and Lexie eye one another.

Meredith spits it out on to her plate. "That's awful! I can't eat that! No one can eat that! Why would Izzie tell me to make that?" Meredith asks.

"Well..maybe it tasted a little differently when Izzie made it," Derek says, gently.

"At least there's still dessert!" Lexie says, brightly, thinking of the apple pie.

"Oh yeah…" Meredith says turning to the oven which is emitting a thick black smoke. She removes a pie which is charred black.

"I kind of forgot about the pie," Meredith says.

"It's okay, Mer. You don't have to cook for us. Nobody's that hungry anyway," Lexie says.

"Yes you are. We're surgeons. We live on coffee. When we get time to eat, we're starving. You're all lying to make me feel better, but I'm a big girl. I can take it," she says, dumping the food into the garbage can with more force than necessary.

"I'll call for a pizza," Derek says.

"I'll get the beer," Mark says.

"I'll help you clean up," Lexie offers.

"I'll promise never to cook again if none of you ever tell anyone about this," Meredith promises.

"Deal!" they all say.

Mark and Meredith go into the kitchen so Mark can get the beer, and Lexie and Derek sit on the couch for a moment.

"So are you and Mark friends again?" Lexie asks.

Derek looks confused. "Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"

"Well, you said some awful things to each other and I figured you'd probably never be able to…" Lexie stammers.

Derek laughs. "What? Never be able to get past it? He's like my brother, Lexie. That bond can't be broken. No matter what one of us does, we'll beat the crap out of each other and then we'll move on," he says.

"Do you think I'll ever feel that secure with my sister?" Lexie asks.

"What do you mean?" Derek asks.

"I mean, I always figure that if I screw up once, Meredith will just get rid of me. I don't feel that unconditional love…the kind where you can always get back from wherever you are…" Lexie admits.

"Give it time. Mark and I have years on you two. She made you a bridesmaid. That's big…" Derek says.

"So we're going to be in-laws…right?" Lexie asks.

"Yeah. I'm going to be that annoying big brother who does things like this," he says, ruffling her hair.

"Stop it!" Lexie squeals.

Mark comes back in and says, "Get your hands off my girl, Shepherd."

"I should tell you to get your hands off my little sister-in-law," Derek replies.

"You already tried. I didn't listen," Mark points out.

Meredith comes into the living room as Mark grabs Derek by the shoulders. It looks as though they are about to fight again.

Lexie glances worriedly at Meredith, and suddenly Derek and Mark hug each other.

"Congrats bro! I can't believe you're going to finally marry the intern!" Mark says.

"Hey! You're probably not far behind!" Derek points out.

"I hope not," Mark says.

Lexie looks at Meredith, who smiles.

"For the record, I'm not wearing a scary bridesmaid dress in your wedding. You have to in mine because Izzie wants it and she has cancer. But for yours, I'm wearing scrubs." Meredith says, smiling.

Lexie shakes her head. "No way…Izzie's going to plan my wedding too, and I'm going to choose pink as the color," Lexie says.

Meredith looks serious. "I hope so," she says.

"You hope you have to wear an ugly pink dress at my wedding?" Lexie says.

"No. I hope Izzie's around to plan your wedding. I really hope so…" Meredith says.

"I hope so too," Lexie says, putting her hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"Hey, forget the pizza! Let's go out and celebrate! My best friend's getting married!" Mark says.

"Sounds good to me!" Derek says.

"I'm in," Lexie agrees.

"Do you want me to save the veal for another day?" Meredith asks, with a smirk.

"NO!" everyone responds as they head out.

***

Sorry it took so long. The chapter just kept getting longer. I hope you enjoy it! Please keep those reviews coming!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are the best! I can't wait for this week's Grey's!

Jess


	9. Chapter 9

Meredith sits in the living room in her sweatpants with a glass of wine and a few bridal magazines that Izzie has ordered her to look through. She thought packing up the diaries and forgiving the chief would have made her feel whole, but it has made her feel raw and exposed and broken. All the memories of her childhood keep flooding back to her, and not the good memories. She keeps trying to remember the good memories, like the awards she won at school, or the parties she went to in high school, but she can't. A few awful memories keep replaying in her mind.

"_Mom, there's no food in the house. Can I have some money to order a pizza for dinner? I'm hungry. You forgot to pack me lunch again."_

"_Oh Meredith! You are 6 years old! You're certainly old enough to pack lunch. Don't blame me if you were irresponsible. Here's 10 dollars. Order a pizza. I have to get back to work."_

_Meredith dials the number as her mother leaves the house without saying goodbye._

"_Tony's Pizzaria," _

"_Hi…I want to order a small pizza."_

"_Pies only come in one size."_

"_Okay. I'll have whatever size it is."_

"_That will be $10.99"_

"_I only have ten dollars," _

"_Well, ask your mommy for more money and give us a call back, okay, little girl?"_

Meredith remembers what happened later that night. She read the directions on a box of pasta and stood on a chair to reach the stove to boil the water. She slipped and burned her arm.

_Mommy, you didn't leave me enough money for pizza. I burned my arm on the stove._

_Meredith! You paged me out of a surgery to tell me you burned your arm? You know better than that! If this patient dies it's your fault!_

Meredith remembers staying up all night hoping the patient didn't die. When she asked her mother the next morning, her mother told her the patient had, indeed died. The fact that the patient was a 92 year old with a severe heart condition was not mentioned.

A lone tear slides down Meredith's cheek. She wishes Derek were home. Derek always knows what to say to her when she feels this way. He knows how to make her laugh and reminds her that life is better now and that she is no longer that 6 year old little girl. But Derek is not there. Derek is at the hospital and Meredith is grateful that Derek is at the hospital because he will be in the O.R. for Izzie's surgery and that is comforting to Meredith on some level.

The door opens and Lexie and Mark enter, laughing.

"When you told my father that I once broke your bone, I thought I would die!" Lexie squeals, laughing hysterically.

"Relax…he had no idea that I literally meant that you broke my bone!" Mark says, laughing with her.

"I'm going to head back to the hospital. I have to check on Tree Girl," Mark says.

"The one with all the broken **bones**?" Lexie teases.

"Yeah…that's the one. Goodnight, Lexie," Mark says.

"Goodnight Mark, and…thank you so much for tonight…I know it was a big deal for you to meet…" Lexie gushes.

Mark stops her. "It shouldn't have been a question. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I should have just said yes from the beginning."

"But you said yes in the end…and that's what counts," Lexie says, kissing him goodnight.

Meredith groans inwardly. She feels guilty for feeling this way, but she doesn't want to talk to Lexie right now. She is horrified to realize that a few more stray tears have fallen down her cheek and she quickly wipes them away before Lexie enters the room.

"Mer…" she says, when she sees her. "You're crying," Lexie points out.

"I'm fine," Meredith says, curtly.

Lexie searches for the right words. "Ummmm…I heard what you did for that little girl today. I heard that you convinced the mother to leave. That was really brave," she says.

"Thank you," Meredith says, wishing she didn't feel like bursting into tears.

"Well…did it work out? Did the mother actually leave?" Lexie asks, trying to keep the conversation going.

Meredith nods, silently, leaving Lexie to try again.

"You and the chief were yelling at each other pretty loudly. I was in the hallway and I heard him tell you that you'd be suspended if you went near them again. I can't believe you risked your career. It was totally heroic," Lexie says.

"Somebody had to stand up for that little girl. People need to stand up for defenseless children," Meredith says, distantly.

"You're so right. I love children," Lexie says, knowing it sounds so empty as she says it.

Meredith is silent so Lexie starts to ramble.

"And people have to put themselves on the line more often. They have to stand up for each other. I try to always stand up for what I believe in and the people who are important to me…" Lexie says, hoping she doesn't sound self-righteous.

Meredith laughs, angrily. "Do you?" she asks, accusingly.

"I try to. I mean…there were a few times in 6th grade when people used to bully poor little Bobby Shackelford, and I didn't say anything, but I NEVER helped them shove him in a locker," Lexie says, proudly.

"Not doing anything, is the same as shoving the kid in a locker," Meredith points out.

"Is this really about Bobby Shackelford?" Lexie asks.

Meredith looks at her, angrily. "No. It's about that little girl that you asked me about. She probably came to school bruised and battered a million times while everyone looked the other way. And what about her mother…and the other adults in her family? I mean why didn't they fight for her? How could they let themselves off the hook? Why didn't they stand up for me?" Meredith asks.

"You mean stand up for her…right?" Lexie says.

"What? Oh…yeah…stand up for her. Maddie…why didn't they stand up for Maddie?" Meredith says quickly.

"Well, now at least Maddie will grow up in a safe environment thanks to you," Lexie says, trying to look on the bright side.

"You don't know that. Just because someone's not getting beaten doesn't mean that they are safe. Maybe her mother will go off the deep end, and slowly, Maddie will become an adult before she should. She'll cook, she'll clean, she wash her clothes, and no one will know what's going on. No one will know that she is alone all day and all night, drowning in the sea of responsibility of being an adult at such a young age and feeling unloved and unworthy of anyone's love and…" Meredith stops, embarrassed by the catch in her throat.

"We're not talking about Maddie anymore…are we?" Lexie asks, knowingly.

"The chief apologized to me…he apologized for not standing up for me when I was a little girl," Meredith says, looking away, so Lexie will not see the tears in her eyes that she is too proud to allow to fall.

"Wow. An apology from the chief…what did you say?" Lexie asks.

"I didn't say anything. I forgave him though. I put my head on his shoulder and I forgave him. It felt good. But then I came home and I was all dark and twisty again…" Meredith says.

"So you forgave **him**?" Lexie says, sounding more accusatory than she means to.

"Yes. I forgave him," Meredith says.

"But you didn't forgive Dad," Lexie points out.

Meredith looks at her like she is speaking a foreign language. "Thatcher? I wished him well, Lexie. What else do you want?"

"I don't know. I guess I had this image of all of us going out to dinner. Going to the park. Being a family." Lexie admits.

"The park?" Meredith asks.

"I like the park," Lexie says, defensively.

"Do you know the first time I remember going to the park? I was 22. One of my college boyfriends took me there on a date. We had a picnic and we watched all of these little kids playing. I acted like I thought the date was stupid, but the truth was I couldn't focus on the date because I was staring at all of these kids playing on the swings and thinking how much I would have loved to have done that as a child. But it was too late. It's too late to go back. And it's definitely too late for Thatcher to make amends or whatever he calls step 9," Meredith says, angrily.

"But he apologized. He's trying, Mer. He really is."

"He's trying with you, and Lexie…I am so happy for you that you got what you wanted from the man. I just can't give you that happy, family thing you want…I just can't. I'm sorry," Meredith says.

"I'm sorry too. I think you'd be happier if you'd try it my way, but what do I know…I've never walked in your shoes. I don't know what would make you happy. All I know is that I've never been happier than I've been this week. First being asked to be a bridesmaid in your wedding…that was so amazing. I still can't tell you how much it means to me. And then…Dad coming to the hospital and being sober…I mean, I never thought I'd get that part of my life back. And then…there was tonight. Mark met Dad…and everything went so well. Everything was perfect, and…well…I guess I just want you to be happy too," Lexie says.

Meredith looks at her sister. "I am happy, Lexie. Overall, I'm happy. I'm happy until my past catches up to me. I'm in love. I'm getting married. In the scheme of life, things are good. Things are very good. I'm just missing the past. I can't seem to reconcile the past with the present…no matter how hard I try," Meredith says.

Lexie smiles. "Get up," she says, pulling Meredith by the hand.

"What? What are you doing?" she asks, laughing in spite of herself, as she stands up reluctantly.

"We're going out," Lexie says.

"Where?" Meredith asks.

Lexie pulls Meredith towards the door. "To the park," she says.

"At night? In the rain?"

"There's no better time," Lexie smiles as she pulls her sister out the front door.

****

The next scene will take place at the park. I think they will run into 2 very good looking guys when they are there… You can guess who those will be!!!!

Hope you all liked it!! I think the highlight of this week Grey's episode was the Mer and the chief scene for me. The acting on Ellen Pompeo's part was incredible! Anyway…I'm so sad about Izzie. I really hope she doesn't die. I keep hearing conflicting reports!

On a different note…I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I've been checking the Meredith and Derek wedding website. How many of you have done that??? Come on…make me feel like less of a big dork!

As always, reviews are appreciated! You guys are the best and most loyal readers and reviewers I could ask for. Keep those reviews coming. I love them!


	10. Chapter 10

"Wait for me in the car. I just have to make a quick phone call," Lexie says.

"Okay. I'm going to call Izzie and see how she's feeling. Yesterday was veil and tiara day. She's probably updating my site with embarrassing pictures as we speak," Meredith says.

"I don't think so, Mer. Didn't she have surgery today?"

"Yes. But that's what Izzie does after surgery. She calls caterers and updates that scary website of hers," Meredith says.

"Okay. I'll be back in a minute!" Lexie says, happily.

Meredith dials Izzie's cell phone, even though Izzie keeps telling her to just call her hospital room phone. There is something about dialing a hospital room number and getting Izzie on the other end that unnerves her so she sticks to the cell phone.

"Hello?" a weak voice answers.

"Iz? It's me. How are you feeling?" Meredith asks.

"That depends. Did you look at the pictures of flowers that I sent you?" Izzie asks.

"No. I didn't have a chance. I'm sorry," Meredith says.

"Then I'm feeling really weak and cancery and the chemo is just awful. I actually feel like I might die," Izzie says, pathetically.

"I'll show them to Lexie when we go to the park. Maybe she can help me pick them out," Meredith sighs.

"The park?" Izzie says, sounding excited. "So you're scouting out places to have the pre-wedding photos? That's great! Yay! You're getting in the spirit!"

"Actually, Iz…ummm…Lexie's taking me to the park because well…I never got to go as a child," Meredith says, embarrassed.

"Okay…see, Mer…now I know you think I'm dying, because you would never admit anything so ridiculous if you thought I was going to be around to mock you for it. You didn't get to go to the park as a child so you're going now? At night? In the rain? When you should be looking at flowers?" Izzie asks.

"It's a long story," Meredith offers meekly.

"Lexie told me that your dad visited. This isn't the time to get all dark and twisty, Mer. It's 4 days until your wedding! This is the time to be happy. Bright, shiny…happy…" Izzie says.

"Lexie thinks this will make me happy," Meredith says.

"Go on the swings. I like swings," Izzie says.

"Swings. Okay. I'll go on the swings," Meredith says.

"And Meredith?" Izzie says.

"If I don't make it to the wedding because the stress of your lack of wedding enthusiasm causes my cancer to grow at a rapid rate, make sure you wear the shoes I picked out for you…well one of the pairs. You have to try them all on with the dress. They're really pretty and perfect and one of them is the right one…" Izzie says, manipulatively.

"I'm hanging up now…" Meredith says.

"Be nice…or I'll post bad things about you on your wedding website…" Izzie says, smiling.

Meredith hangs up the phone and smiles. She is grateful for all that Izzie is doing. More than anything, she is grateful that she has this to give to Izzie. Planning the wedding seems to be keeping her going.

Lexie climbs into the drivers seat. "Okay. Mission accomplished. Let's go!"

As they drive to the park, Lexie starts explaining to Meredith about the park they are going to.

"And they have a swingset. You can swing as high as you want. And then there's a slide…a big one and a little one. You can start on the little one and then graduate to the big one if you're scared of the big one at first. And then there's the climbing stuff. Just be careful because if it's wet you can fall off and once…when I was about 5, I fell of the…" Lexie stops rambling when Meredith cuts her off.

"Lexie. Stop! I said I never got to go to the park as a child. I graduated top of my class in medical school. I know what a park is. I know what swings are. I know that wet climbing equipment is slippery. And I am pretty sure that I'm not going to be scared of the slide that the average 4 year old goes down without a problem," Meredith says, laughing.

Lexie giggles embarrassed. "Sorry. I guess I just got excited," she says.

"As long as you don't create a 'Meredith goes to the park' website…we're okay," Meredith says.

Lexie laughs. "Izzie did a great job on your wedding website. Oh wait…I forgot to tell you about the sandbox. We can make sandcastles. One time, I won a contest on the beach when I made a sandcastle that looked like an ice cream sundae. I mean, we all made it. My mom, dad, Molly and I. We made a big ice cream sundae because every year when we'd go on vacation that was our tradition. Ice cream sundaes on the beach. Molly cried when the wave washed away a few of the scoops of ice cream. She named each flavor of each sand scoop!" Lexie says, laughing at the memory.

"It sounds like you guys had fun," Meredith says, feeling that dark cloud wash over her again.

"We're here! And it stopped raining!" Lexie says, happily.

Suddenly Meredith feels stupid. Why did she allow Lexie to convince her that this was a good idea? What was she hoping to gain? Her childhood was over. She was a grown woman. A doctor. What was she going to do at a park in the middle of the night?

"Lexie, let's go. This is…" Meredith begins to protest.

"Hey look! There's two cute little girls at the park. Excuse me little girl, can we play with you?" Mark says, tapping Lexie on the shoulder.

Derek comes up behind Meredith and covers her eyes. "Derek!" she says, uncovering her eyes as he spins her around and pulls her into a big embrace.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith asks, laughing.

Derek shrugs casually. "What? Can't a man sometimes hang out in parks at night?"

"Ummm…yeah. But they usually get arrested for that type of behavior," Meredith says, smiling.

"Mark…did you bring it?" Lexie asks.

"I sure did. You can all applaud when I'm done," Mark says proudly, holding up a shiny key.

"What is that? The key to the porto potty?" Derek asks.

"Don't mock the key, Shepherd. You all wait here. I'm going to make it day time around here…" Mark says.

"What is he doing?" Meredith asks Lexie.

"Showing off. It's what Sloan always does," Derek chimes in.

"He's turning on the lights. There are these really bright lights here that they used to use for the little league night games. It makes the place seem like it's daytime even in the pitch dark." Lexie explains.

"How did he get the key to the park?" Derek asks.

"He operated on the mayor's daughter after she got into a biking accident and crushed her jaw bone. Mark reconstructed her face, so the mayor always said if there was ever anything he needed he could call him. Mark called in a favor for me," Lexie says, proudly.

"So he called the mayor at 9:00pm and said, 'Hello, this is Dr. Sloan. I want to go to the park?'" Meredith says, stifling a laugh.

Lexie smiles and puts her arm around Mark's waist. "That's my Mark!" she says, happily.

Derek whispers to Meredith. "You've got to stop her. She's going to make his head so big I'm going to have to treat him for hydrocephalus!"

Meredith nods in agreement.

All of a sudden, the lights get bright and the droplets of water from the previous rain glisten on the playground equipment.

"So you're a virgin…" Derek says.

"What?" Meredith asks, looking at him like he's slightly insane.

"A park virgin. You're a park virgin," he says. He turns to Lexie. "Lexie, your sister is a park virgin. It won't do to have her first experience be all wet and messy. Mark and I brought some towels. We're going to wipe down the equipment before we all play," Derek says, chivalrously.

As he runs off to find Mark, Lexie says, "The park is beautiful at night. Maybe you should get married in the park!"

Meredith rolls her eyes. "You can't have a wedding in a park, Lexie! What if my tiara fell in the sand," Meredith says, imitating Izzie.

Lexie laughs. "Maybe I'll get married in the park," she says.

"You get Mark Sloan to tie the knot, and I'll wear any color bridesmaid dress you want, at any park you want!" Meredith says.

Derek and Mark return tossing their towels on a bench.

Lexie takes charge. "We're going to go on the swings first!" she says, sounding like an excited child.

Meredith rolls her eyes at Derek. "Do you think she's really that excited or is this an act?"

"Oh no, Mer…this is a park. A place where happy, excited children play. There is no dark and twisty here. It's a bright, shiny park…" he says, teasing.

Meredith and Lexie sit on the swings. Lexie starts to swing as high as she can. Meredith swings halfheartedly.

"Mer! Pump your feet! Like this! It's fun! Derek…give her a push!" Lexie orders.

"Is she always this bossy?" Derek whispers to Mark.

"Nah…she's the boss at the park, but I'm the boss where it counts," Mark says, proudly.

"Yeah…right." Derek replies.

Meredith feels the rush of the wind against her face as she pumps her feet and then swings back and feels the push of Derek's hands. She feels exhilarated and throws her head back and laughs.

"This is great! It's like the feeling you get when you make your first incision!" Meredith says, laughing.

"I bet I can make Little Grey go higher than Big Grey!" Mark says to Derek.

"You're on…" Derek retorts.

Derek gives Meredith a big push while Mark grabs Lexie's swing and pulls it back by the ropes as far as it will go before releasing her. Both Meredith and Lexie scream loudly.

"Are they going to kill us with their competitiveness?" Lexie asks.

"Probably, and we'll have a really hard time explaining the whole park thing in our obituaries," Meredith adds.

"I'm going to jump off!" Lexie says.

"Lexie! Don't! Be careful!" Meredith warns.

"Relax! This is what you do on a swing! Watch!" Lexie says as she lets go and leaps into the air.

Meredith breathes a sigh of relief as she watches Lexie's feet hit the ground.

"Come on!" Lexie says. "You try it!"

Meredith closes her eyes, releases her grip from the swing and jumps.

"Wasn't that amazing?" Lexie asks.

"It was! It was like flying. It was great!" Meredith agrees.

"What do you want to do next?" Lexie asks.

Meredith hesitates. "Lexie, we don't have to do this anymore…we can go…"

Lexie cuts her off. "You're not having fun? Oh my god! I can't believe you're not having fun! The slide! Everyone has fun on the slide!" she says, speaking rapidly.

Meredith looks at Derek who shrugs. "Everyone has fun, Mer. Let's go to the slide," he says, winking at her.

Meredith looks at the small slide and the larger slide. Lexie climbs up the ladder to the big slide and says, "Come on, Mer! Follow me!"

When they get to the top of the slide, Lexie says, "Now put your legs around me and we can go down together. That's what me and all my friends used to do…"

Meredith humors her sister. Derek and Mark stand off to the side.

"Dude…I used to have this fantasy of two girls straddling each other on the top of a slide…but now that they're sisters…this is just wrong," Mark says.

"Having fantasies that involve a park and a slide and two girls is just wrong in itself," Derek says, smirking.

"There you go, judging me. Just for that, I'm going to have to kick your ass on the basketball court," Mark says.

"Too bad you didn't bring a ball," Derek says.

"No. Too bad for you that I did!" Mark says, running to his car and pulling out a basketball.

Lexie and Meredith slide down the slide and end up on the ground piled on top of each other when they get to the bottom. They fall on each other in a heap laughing like children.

"Let's do it again!" Lexie says, running to the ladder followed by Meredith.

As they slide down, laughing, Derek looks at Mark and says, "I'm so going to kick your ass on the basketball court. I can't wait," she says.

"Hmmmm…maybe you want to place a little wager on this. How about, loser has to be the winner's intern for a week. Charting, scut work…the whole intern stuff!" Mark says.

"The chief will never go for it," Derek says, shaking his head.

"I've got a better idea. If you win, Little Grey has to be your intern for a week and if I win, Big Grey has to be my intern for a week," Mark says.

"Ummm…that would be fine except that Little Grey IS an intern and Big Grey is not. How about you and Little Grey can take Big Grey and I out to a nice dinner," Derek says.

"Little Grey and I will be honored to have YOU and Big Grey take US out to dinner if you can still stand up after I wipe the court with you," Mark says.

"Over my dead body," Derek says.

"Well don't worry…there's four doctors here. Somebody can resuscitate you," Mark says.

Lexie and Meredith run over to them.

"We're going to build sandcastles! You guys should come too. We can have a contest! Me and Mark against you and Meredith!" Lexie says, energetically.

"Why isn't she tired? Interns are supposed to be tired," Derek whispers to Meredith.

"I don't know! But lets go build a sandcastle!" Meredith says, happily.

"You're not mocking anymore?" Derek asks.

"No more mocking," Meredith replies.

Lexie plops herself down in the sandbox. She draws a line down the middle with her finger.

"Mark and I will take this side, and Derek and Meredith you take that side. Are you ready for the contest?" Lexie asks.

"So we just build any sandcastle?" Meredith asks.

"No. There has to be a theme," Lexie says, thinking.

"Okay…I expect this from Lexie…but why isn't Meredith rolling her eyes and making sarcastic comments?" Mark asks.

"I don't know…it's like Izzie and Lexie have invaded her brain together!" Derek replies.

"How about organs! Everybody has to make an organ out of sand," Lexie says.

"Any organ?" Mark says, mischievously.

Lexie gives him a look. "This is a park! Keep it clean!" she scolds.

"Clean is no fun," Mark responds.

"Who's the judge?" Derek asks.

Lexie shrugs. "I don't know. I'll judge, I guess," she replies.

Meredith shakes her head. "No way! You're biased! None of us can judge," she protests.

"Ummm…Mer…we're the only ones here," Derek reminds her.

"I don't care. The judging has to be fair," Meredith says.

"Life isn't fair, Mer. Get over it," Mark teases.

Meredith sighs pathetically. "It's just that I never got to go to the park as a child and I never got to have a sandcastle contest and I just wanted my first trip to the park to be perfect, so I thought you guys would be able to find a good judge. But it's fine. I mean, my childhood wasn't fair…I'm not sure why I thought adulthood should be…" she says, with a dramatic pout.

Lexie looks at Derek. Derek sighs. "I know who to call. I'll be right back," he says.

When he walks away, Meredith smiles. "How was that? I learned that from Izzie! It really works," she says, laughing.

Mark shakes his head. "Shepherd's such a sucker," he says.

"You're awful!" Lexie says, with a shake of her head and a smile.

Derek comes back. "Okay. The judge will be here in an hour," he says.

"Who did you call?" Mark asks.

"Wouldn't you love to know?" Derek asks.

"So we have an hour to build our sandcastles. Come on! Let's hurry up!" Meredith says to Derek.

Derek looks at her quizzically but follows her back to the sandbox where they take their place on the right side of the sandbox.

Meredith starts talking rapidly. "So, what organ should we build? Mark will probably want to do something obscene, but Lexie will probably want to do the heart. I think she'll pick the heart. It's the most obvious and it's safe. Lexie's a play it safe type of girl…and…" Meredith stops when she notices Derek chuckling to himself. "You're laughing! Stop laughing at me!" she says, suddenly feeling shy.

"It's just…I've never seen you like…I mean…you're actually excited about this!" Derek says, catching his breath.

"Derek Shepherd! Are you mocking me?" Meredith asks.

"Absolutely. And I know what organ we're going to build," he says.

"What?" Meredith asks.

"The one we know best," Derek says, confidently.

Lexie and Mark sit on the left side of the sandbox.

"What do you want to build?" Lexie asks.

"Can we build your rack? You have a nice rack," Mark says.

"A _rack_ is not an organ, which you probably should already know, seeing as I'm the intern and you're the attending!" Lexie says.

"How about my…" Mark begins.

"Don't even think about it…" Lexie says, reprimanding him with a smile.

"What do you want? Want me to build a kidney or something?" Mark sighs.

"How about a heart…you know…the organ of love?" Lexie asks.

Mark looks at Lexie. He is sitting in the sandbox, in the middle of the night, building sandcastle organs and he doesn't care. He is just happy to be with her.

"A heart it is…let's get to work," he says, in awe of the fact that he is so incredibly happy with one woman.

As they all enthusiastically work on their sandcastles, Derek looks at Meredith. "So, you're really into this? Or are you putting it on for Lexie?"

Meredith thinks for a moment. "Lexie did something nice. I'm having fun. Can't it just be fun?" she says.

Derek grins at her. "That's what I've been trying to tell you for 5 years," he says.

"I know…I guess I wasn't really ready to listen," she admits.

"So is this the end of Dark and Twisty?" he asks.

Meredith shrugs. "Probably not. But tonight, Dark and Twisty is taking a break. I mean, how often do you have a night like this?" she asks.

"A night, freezing in the park, soaked by the rain building a brain out of sand?" Derek asks.

"A night where you're sad and the people who care about you go out on a limb for you to try to make you happy again…" Meredith replies.

Derek thinks for a minute and then says, "Does this look like a hypothalamus?" he asks.

Lexie admires her sand aorta as she inspects Mark's superior vena cava. "You need to pack the sand tighter," she says.

Mark turns to Derek. "She's the sand Nazi!" he says.

"I think I got the better Grey for this one!" Derek says.

"I think we're finished!" Meredith says.

Lexie smoothes over the last of Mark's work. "I think we are too!"

"Perfect timing!" Derek says as he watches a car drive up.

"Who's here?" Meredith asks.

"The judge!" Derek replies.

Dr. Bailey gets out of her car and looks at Derek sternly. "I know there must be a VERY good reason you called me here in the middle of the night. You said you needed me. What is it?" she asks.

"Dr. Bailey…we need a fair judge. We all know that there is no fairer judge than you," Derek says, with a sycophantic smile.

"You called me all the way out here to referee your lover's quarrel with Grey. Are you kidding me?" she says.

"No. I called you out here to tell us which sandcastle is better. We're having a contest and we need a judge. You have the honor," he says with a smile.

"Have you lost your mind?" Dr. Bailey replies, in shock.

"Yes. Absolutely. Now, as you can see, Meredith and I made an anatomically correct brain. Mark and Lexie made a heart. Who wins?" Derek asks.

Dr. Bailey looks at Mark. "So you've lost your mind too?" she asks.

"Most definitely," he replies.

Dr. Bailey sighs as she stares at the two sandcastles. "The heart wins," she says.

Lexie and Mark cheer.

"Wait! Don't you think that our brain is…" Meredith begins.

"Dr. Grey! You do not want me to tell you what I think of your brain right now. I think all of you are sharing a brain right now and I'm not sure which one of you has it. But whoever is in possession of the brain, please tell the other three of you that I am going back to the hospital where I have sick people to care for while you all play in the park like a bunch of children!" she says, shaking her head.

As Dr. Bailey slams her car door, Lexie and Meredith begin to giggle while Mark slaps Derek five. "That was awesome! I can't believe you got her out here!"

"Now it's time for me to play your sorry ass in basketball," Derek says.

"Let's go. Girls, watch me wipe the court with Shepherd," Mark says.

"Ummm…is this going to get ugly?" Lexie asks.

"Definitely," Meredith says.

"Can we go play on the swings again?" Lexie asks.

"Absolutely!" Meredith says, running as far away from the basketball court as possible.

Derek and Mark set out for the basketball court.

"Are they gone?" Mark asks.

"Yeah, I don't think they can see the court from here," Derek replies.

"So we can…" Mark begins.

"Yeah," Derek says.

Both of them sit down on the court.

"They'll never know how much we both suck at basketball…will they?" Mark asks.

"Will we ever be too old for this charade?" Derek asks.

Mark shakes his head. "Nah. Never too old to impress the ladies," he replies.

Derek leans his head back. "She's happy. I think she's finally happy," Derek says.

"I think I am too," Mark replies.

Meredith turns to Lexie as they swing leisurely. "Thank you…for tonight. It was nice of you to do this," she says.

"Your welcome. I had a good time…did you?" Lexie asks.

Meredith thinks. "I did. I had fun. Bright…shiny…fun."

"Do you think they are killing each other on the basketball court?" Lexie asks.

Meredith nods. "Definitely."

Thanks so much for all the reviews! I loved hearing from all of you! Please review this chapter when you have a chance! I can't wait to hear what you think of it! You guys are the best!

Also…WEDDING on THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

"Is Derek gone?" Lexie asks, tiptoeing into Meredith's room.

"He just left. He's probably still downstairs making coffee," Meredith says, with a tired smile on her face.

"Oh! Well, then I'll come back later. I mean, I can come back when he's gone. I mean…if you want me to go and I mean it's your wedding night. Well…not your wedding night, but your morning after your wedding night. Well…actually not even really your wedding…and well…you know what I mean. I mean…well…"

Meredith puts her hand on Lexie's arm as she sits up in her bed. "It's okay, Lexie. He's going to work. It's fine. You can stay," she says.

"Are you sure? I mean, if you wanted some alone time…I can go. I'll come back later and well…"

Meredith throws the covers off and swings her legs over the side of the bed. "Lexie. Relax! I'm glad you're here. I need to debrief with someone about the wedding before I go to the hospital today."

"Hospital? I thought you were off today?" Lexie asks, confused.

"I am. We're all taking shifts with Izzie," Meredith explains.

"Oh. Do you need any more help? I can take a shift if you want," Lexie offers.

Meredith reaches for her drawer and pulls out a piece of paper. "Alex is on now, then Cristina relieves him at 11:00. I'm on from 1:00-3:00. George is on from 4:00-6:00. Then Dr. Bailey takes over at 6:00 until 8:00. We have a gap from 3:00-4:00. Can I pencil you in?"

"Sure. I don't have to be at work until 6:00 tonight," Lexie says.

"Thanks," Meredith replies.

"How's Alex?" Lexie asks.

"He's so sad. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He's so sad. We have to get him out of her room every so often. He'd sit by her bed all day, but it tears him apart. It's not good for her or him. She gets upset watching him fall apart, and he tries to keep it together for her but he's so transparent," Meredith explains.

"They looked so happy at the church. And when Izzie almost fell, and George walked her down the aisle…that was just…beautiful. And Alex…I never knew he had it in him to settle down and be a decent guy, but the way he looked at her…the wedding was perfect. What you and Derek did for her…well…it was amazing," Lexie says in awe of her sister.

"Thank you. It was Izzie's wedding. It was always Izzie's wedding," Meredith says.

"So what is your wedding going to look like?" Lexie asks.

"I'm not sure. Derek and I haven't gotten that far. We don't care. We're looking forward to the marriage. The wedding is just a day," Meredith says.

"But you ARE going to get married…right?" Lexie asks.

Meredith sighs with a smile. "Yes. Don't worry…I'm not freaking out. I'm going to marry Derek. I'm just not feeling any pressure. I feel like the focus needs to be on Izzie and Alex right now."

"How are you doing with all of this? I mean Izzie being so sick and all. Everyone keeps checking on Alex…and everyone keeps asking about George, but no one asks about you and Cristina. I mean you guys are all so close. Your intern class really bonded in a way mine never did…" Lexie says.

"I'm doing okay. I mean, I'm just glad I could give her what she always dreamed of…her perfect wedding," Meredith says.

"Yeah. That was just…I mean…wow. It was incredible. But now…I mean, now it's real. The wedding dress comes off and it's all real. She's so sick, Mer," Lexie says.

"She'll be okay," Meredith says, bordering on defensive.

"Mer…" Lexie begins.

"She will be okay. Derek is going to figure something out. I know he will. I just know he will," Meredith says, definitively.

"But he said he couldn't do anything…" Lexie points out.

"Lexie…In the words of Izzie, 'Meredith Grey, child of darkness' is marrying a wonderful man. Miracles happen every day," Meredith says, confidently.

"But this isn't that kind of miracle," Lexie protests.

"Why are you determined to convince me that everything won't be okay. I'm finally emerging from my cloud of darkness and you want to rain on my parade," Meredith asks.

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up. She's so sick," Lexie says. "I peeked in her room after the wedding. She looked so weak," Lexie says.

"She has cancer, Lexie. People recover from cancer all the time," Meredith says.

"People die of it too. Just be prepared," Lexie warns.

"You're worried about me…" Meredith says.

"I am," Lexie says.

"It's sweet," Meredith says. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Lexie says. There is an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry you never got to wear your bridesmaid dress," Meredith says.

"Oh please. The night was perfect. And I think I saw Mark starting to get into the wedding spirit. It was hard not to with Izzie and Alex looking so happy," Lexie says.

"Are you guys talking marriage?" Meredith asks.

"Not talking exactly," Lexie admits.

"So how do you know he's thinking marriage too?" Meredith asks.

"He looked so happy. You should have seen his face when they were saying their vows," Lexie says, happily.

"I'm sure he was happy. But he's Mark Sloan…marriage…well…it's just not…well…he's Mark Sloan," Meredith says.

"Now who's raining on whose parade?" Lexie asks.

"I'm sorry…I just don't want you to get your hopes up," Meredith says, gently.

"You're concerned about me," Lexie points out, ironically.

"I am," Meredith agrees.

"Thank you. It's sweet," Lexie says.

Meredith laughs. "Point taken," she says.

They sit in silence for a few minutes until Lexie says, "I have to go to the hospital this morning. I'm so behind on paperwork."

Meredith laughs. "You? The star intern?"

Lexie sighs. "I know. I'm probably not as behind as I think I am, but if I'm not ahead, I'm behind," she admits.

"Were you always such a nerd?" Meredith asks.

Lexie shrugs. "I guess so. I mean, I always hid it well…well, except for the stereotypical eating disorder in high school that is always associated with the straight A perfectionist. But I was even the best recovering anorexic. I made it my business to get better faster than anyone else in the support group. I don't know…I have to be on top or I'm not happy. Wow…that was way more information than you asked for," Lexie says, embarrassed.

Meredith shakes her head. "No. It's nice to know that you were a little messed up at some point. It makes you a little more…I don't know…normal," she says.

Lexie laughs. "Thanks…I guess," she replies.

"I have to check on a patient before my shift with Izzie, anyway…why don't I drive you?" Meredith says.

(Break)

Meredith looks at her pager to check the time. 12:55. She heads towards Izzie's room, knowing her two hour shift is about to start. She is looking forward to talking to Izzie about the wedding and just spending time with her friend, but she gets that familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach where she braces herself for the fact that Izzie is sick. Once she enters the room, she's alright. It is just that moment, where her hand hits the doorknob that her stomach feels queasy. She closes her eyes and remembers what she will encounter, and she turns the doorknob.

Cristina is sitting next to Izzie's bed pressing a washcloth to her forehead. Izzie's eyes are closed, and she appears to be sleeping.

"Hi. How is she?" Meredith asks.

"Shhh…" Cristina says, pulling Meredith to the corner of the room.

"What?" Meredith asks.

"She's sleeping. I want her to sleep. She needs to rest. She stayed awake all morning for Alex. Don't let her try to entertain you. She needs to rest. She's Izzie. She wants to put on that 'Yay cancer' show for everyone. Don't let her. She's really worn out from wedding night," Cristina says.

"Cris. You look tired. You need a break. Your shift is over. I'm here. Go lay down in the on call room or something." Meredith says.

Cristina ignores her. "She gets her anti-nausea medication again at 1:30. Make sure they bring it on time. And check the prescription. Make sure it's Zofran and not a generic equivalent. Also, tell the doctors that her BP's been low. I checked it about 15 minutes ago, but you should check again in about…"

Meredith cuts her off. "Cristina," she says, breaking Cristina's train of thought.

"She trusted me. She trusted me to help her," Cristina says, her eyes filling with tears.

"I know," Meredith says.

"Take her temperature every so often. Her white count is still really low, so she's at risk for an infection. She can't afford an infection right now. And make sure she drinks water. She's getting dehydrated. They have an IV of fluids, but…" Cristina continues.

Meredith touches her arm. "Cristina. You need a break. I've got it. Go for a walk. Go get some air. Go steal a surgery. Just get out of this room. You need a break," Meredith insists.

Cristina shakes her head. "I have no escape, Mer. I leave here and I'm bound to run into Owen. There's no break," she says.

"Go home. You aren't even on for another 6 hours. Go home, Cristina. Get some sleep," Meredith says gently.

Cristina looks at her, with her eyes glistening with tears. "Izzie trusted me. Owen trusted me. Everything is broken," she says as she leaves.

Meredith takes Cristina's place at the side of Izzie's bed. Izzie opens her eyes and sits up.

"Iz. You can go back to sleep. I brought work to do. You don't have to entertain me," Meredith says.

"Is Cristina gone?" Izzie asks.

"Yes." Meredith replies.

"Is Alex gone?" Izzie asks.

"Yes." Meredith replies.

"Thank god," Izzie sighs. "I appreciate all of this…really I do. But my god! I can't take the cancery looks anymore. I just can't. I mean, seriously! If Cristina checked my vitals one more time… and if Alex clenches his fists again and looks at the ceiling…I need a break, and I don't get to choose when I get one!" Izzie says.

Meredith smiles. "They're just trying to help," she offers.

"I know. And that's why I give them what they want. I give Alex the 'Yay cancer' routine. And I let Cristina take care of all the medical stuff and sleep so she feels like she's doing something. But really…what I want is just to forget cancer for a few minutes. Can we forget cancer for a while?" Izzie asks, desperately.

Meredith stares at the oxygen tubes in Izzie's nose and the I.V. in her arm, and her bald head and her frail body and wonders how she can possibly "forget cancer," but for Izzie's sake, she wants to try.

"Of course we can," Meredith says. "What do you want to talk about? The wedding?" Meredith asks.

Izzie shakes her head. "Talking about the wedding makes me happy, but it also makes me sad because weddings imply future, and I might not have a future…and well…no. I don't want to talk about the wedding right now," she says.

"Okay. Then you pick the topic," Meredith says, trying to sound cheerful.

"I want to talk about you," Izzie says.

"Me?" Meredith asks. "Why would you want to talk about me? Isn't that what you usually do with Cristina or Alex or George? I mean, don't you usually talk about me behind my back? Not to my face!" Meredith teases.

"I want to know what's going on in your life. No one tells me anything anymore. No one complains about the drama in their life. No one tells me their exciting news. Everyone just smiles and says 'how are you feeling?' It's creepy…not to mention boring," Izzie says.

"Okay…so…me…what do you want to know?" Meredith asks, uncomfortably.

"You've changed. You're happier. You're not all dark and twisty these days. I saw it at the wedding. You weren't mocking…which might have been because I have cancer and all that, but I think it was more than that. You believe in love now. What changed?" Izzie asks.

Meredith shrugs. "I don't know," she says.

"It can't just be Derek. I mean, he's all McDreamy and everything, but he's always been all McDreamy and everything and you were still all dark and twisty, so it's got to be more than just Derek," Izzie observes.

Meredith thinks before she responds. "It's Lexie. I have a sister now. I…Meredith Grey…have a blood relative who I actually feel a connection to," she admits.

Izzie smiles. "That makes sense. That girl brings bright and shiny to a level even I can't relate to!" she says.

Meredith laughs. "She does. And it totally annoys me about half the time, but the other half of the time, I admire her for it. And she really cares about me. I don't know why. I've never given her reason to, but we've found this rhythm, and it's working and I feel like I have a family…other than our crazy dysfunctional family, of course," Meredith says.

Izzie smiles. "I'm glad. I like her. Did I ever tell you that when you all didn't come to visit me in the beginning of my cancer fight, Lexie came?"

"No. But she did. That's what I mean. She's just nice and pure. It makes me want to be a part of that bright and shininess. And then there's Derek…" Meredith says, happily.

"Okay…before you start, just know that Derek is not high on my approval list since he told me he can't get to my tumor," Izzie says, half-kidding.

"That's not funny. Derek's working on something. I know he is. He won't tell me what it is, but I see him up at night with your scans. I hear bits of his conversations with Bailey. He won't tell me much, but I know they're working on something," Meredith says.

"No cancer talk…remember?" Izzie reminds her.

"You brought it up. I was just going to talk about how McDreamy changed my life. It was you who had to bring up the tumor," Meredith protests.

"Fine. Fair enough. So, you're happy?" Izzie asks.

Meredith ponders the meaning of that word…happy. "I think so. I think I'm happy," she replies.

"Good," Izzie says, as she rests her head on her pillow and closes her eyes.

Meredith watches her sleep, knowing she has another hour before she leaves Izzie's room. She has some paperwork that she brought, but can't seem to focus on it. Fortunately, Alex tiptoes into the room.

Meredith stops him at the door. "Alex! You're not supposed to be here. You need a break," Meredith scolds him.

"I had to make sure she was okay. She's okay, isn't she? I mean, she's not any worse…right?" Alex says, desperately.

"No. She's not. In fact, she and I just had a nice conversation and then she fell asleep. She's tired, Alex. Let her rest," Meredith says.

"How do I do this?" Alex asks.

"How do you do what?" Meredith asks.

"How do I say goodbye to her? She is the only good thing that has ever happened to me. She is the reason I wake up in the morning. I can't do this without her. I can't live if she doesn't, Mer. I just can't," Alex says.

Meredith puts her hand on his arm. "It's not goodbye yet. She hasn't given up," Meredith says.

"I don't know…Mer…this cancer…it's bad. It's really bad," he says.

"You need to get out of this building. I'm going to get you out. I'll call someone to come stay with Izzie. You need me more than she does right now," Meredith says.

Alex doesn't protest and Meredith takes his silence as an affirmation that she is right. She steps outside with her cell phone and calls Lexie.

"Lex? Can you come to the hospital a little early? I need you to stay with Izzie. I've got to get Alex out of here for a bit," Meredith says.

"Sure. I'll be right over," Lexie says, without asking any questions.

Meredith goes back inside and sits next to Alex who is holding Izzie's hand as she sleeps.

"Lexie's coming. She's going to stay with Izzie. You and I are going out. I know that Izzie isn't going to mind if I take her husband on a date," Meredith says, smiling.

Alex squeezes Izzie's hand. "I love you, Iz. Don't give up," he whispers.

The door opens. "I came as fast as I could," Lexie says, breathlessly.

"Thank you," Meredith says.

Lexie looks at Alex. "Congratulations, Alex. The wedding was beautiful," she says, warmly.

"Thanks," he says. "You'll sit with her? Mer's making me get out of here," he says.

"Of course I will," Lexie promises. "Where are you guys going?" she asks.

"I don't know," Alex shrugs.

Meredith smiles. "I think I know just what my friend Alex needs," she says.

Lexie looks at her questioningly.

"We're going to the park," Meredith whispers.

Lexie smiles and takes Alex's place in the chair next to Izzie's bed.

***

I know there wasn't much story movement in this chapter, but I want to wait until after Thursday to do anything too drastic…I want to see where Grey's takes everything before I go any further.

Thank so much for all the reviews. How awesome was Izzie and Alex's wedding? It was so sweet of Mer and Der to give it to them!


	12. Chapter 12

"You're home," Lexie says, throwing her bag on the couch and sitting down dejectedly.

"Lexie. I'm glad you're here," Meredith says, sitting down next to her sister.

Lexie looks puzzled. "Why?"

"Because I love you. And I just wanted to tell you that. We have to tell the people that we love how much we love them," Meredith says, giving Lexie a quick and awkward hug.

Lexie smiles. "Thanks. I love you too." She pauses. "Mark asked me to move in with him. I said no," she says.

"Derek and I got married on a post it," Meredith says.

"Izzie would be horrified," Lexie says.

At the mention of Izzie's name, Meredith's eyes begin to water.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…We don't know anything yet," Lexie says, quickly hoping to direct Meredith's mind away from her friend who was fighting for her life.

"It's okay. Derek says we just have to wait…It's okay," Meredith says.

"Was there any word on George? I went in to check but Owen said…" Lexie asks.

Meredith closes her eyes and shakes her head. "No word yet. Why did you say no to moving in with Mark?" she asks.

"We don't have to talk about it now. There's so much going on and if you want to…" Lexie begins.

Meredith shakes her head again. "No. We do have to talk about it. Now. Everything has to happen now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. We are here…now. We have each other. Tell me why you said no to moving in with Mark," Meredith says, adamantly.

"It's probably going to sound crazy," Lexie warns.

"I got married on a post it. I'm not really in a position to judge," Meredith reminds her.

Lexie ponders this for a moment. "Well…I thought about my mother. And well…she married my father who was limited. And she loved him and he was good to her, but he was limited…and she could have done better. She was smart. She could have had a huge career and done so many things, but she stayed home with us and sacrificed for him and what if it wasn't really enough for her. Mark isn't limited like my dad was, but emotionally…he's stunted. He's Mark Sloan. And I don't know…he sprung it on me so fast that I didn't know what to say. I panicked. I don't want to have regrets. I don't want to give it all up for Mark Sloan only to find that it's not enough," Lexie says.

"Okay," Meredith says.

"Okay? That's all you have for me? Okay? Come on Mer…help me out a little bit here…" Lexie pleads.

"What can I say…I like having you in the attic," Meredith says with a half smile.

Lexie sighs.

"He'll have to understand. If he loves you, he'll have to let you take things at your pace. Like Derek did with me…he can't rush things," Meredith says.

Lexie sighs. "What did the post it say?"

"It said that we will still love each other when we're old and smelly," Meredith says.

Lexie laughs. "Romantic," she says.

"Very," Meredith agrees.

They sit in silence as they ponder all that has gone on today.

"Everything is seriously broken," Meredith says.

"I know. Except for you getting married on a post it. That was good," Lexie says.

"Yes. It was," Meredith agrees.

"But overall…today was an awful day," Lexie says.

Meredith nods in agreement.

"What if they don't get better? George and Izzie…" Meredith asks.

"They have to…" Lexie says.

"That's the thing, Lexie…they don't have to. People die every day. Izzie and George…they are just people. They could live or they could die. We don't know," Meredith says.

"You're right," Lexie acknowledges.

"What if they die?" Meredith asks.

"I'll still be here," Lexie says.

"Thanks. So will I," Meredith says, leaning her head on Lexie's shoulder.

Lexie strokes Meredith's hair. "It will be okay. Whatever happens, we'll be okay," she tells Meredith.

***

Okay…so I couldn't go to bed until I wrote this. It's not much, but it's a debriefing to tonight's finale. I can't believe we have to wait a whole summer to find out about Izzie and George. I'm so sad about both of them. More about Izzie…she's my favorite!! She WILL live…right?


End file.
